Number 5, 6 and 7 are still young enough that I can give them baths together. Well, that is, until tonight when this conversation took place: Me: Number 6, Hurry up and get in the water! Number 5 (5-year-old girl): No! Not yet! I’m not done! Me: It’s okay. He can get in with you. […]
Funny Stuff
Keeping the Stereotypes Alive
In case you found yourself in an embarrassing situation today, I thought I’d share this little story. So you know you are not alone. If you’ve been around here for a while, you know that we have been having huge financial difficulties, and you most likely know that we qualify for food stamps and are very grateful to […]
The Senior Citizen Contract
Somewhere along life’s path something happens. There is an invisible line that you cross. A switch that gets flipped. And you inevitably go from semi-cool parent to really-cranky-old-person-who-forgets-the-first-seventy-five-years-of-your-life. I’m really hoping I manage to avoid crossing this line. But I know how I am now. I can’t remember what day it is most of the time. […]
I can’t hear you. I have a labia in my ear.
Earlier today, this happened: The rest of the kids were impressed with the parts of his head that Number 6 managed to cover with marker. It was everywhere. An unidentified male member of the family took one look at him. “Whoah! It’s even in your ears! You got green all the way inside your… labia!” […]
21 New Year’s Resolutions For Your Children To Make
It’s resolution time! Are your kids making resolutions? Do they need some ideas? If so, they, and you, are in luck! I have a whole bunch for them to choose from right here: 1. I will only flush shit that is actually shit down the toilet. 2. When my sister asks me to stop looking […]
8 Annoying People You See at the Gym
We are approaching that time of year when people resolve to get in shape and purchase a gym membership. If you are new to the gym, I feel I should warn you about something. After attending 4 bazillion fitness and spin classes myself, and after performing hours of careful scientific observation, I have determined that […]
