So the ladies have been struggling.
They just finished up week 3, and that is typically the time where the novelty and excitement of an exercise routine wears off.
Plus, you are working,
and working,
and working,
and not seeing much change in your body.
It can be very frustrating and demoralizing.
Last week, a discouraged Samantha sent me this message:
I started your ecourse but it was late and it got confusing so I stopped doing it and just decided to start jogging at nights and watching my diet. I’m already vegetarian so I just started cooking more instead of eating processed. I haven’t weighed myself but I don’t see any changes. And I shouldn’t but I’m comparing to that other girl and she is obviously losing on the short time frame. I’m so frustrated! I’m starting to think of dropping out of the photo thing because it’s embarrassing. It looks as if I’m not trying and I am. But I guess not following your plan has screwed me over… I’m feeling very beaten…
I emailed her the link to my current e-course.
The next day, I got this message:
Hey Susie, how do you know if you’re depressed or just tired of everything?
Sometimes I don’t 🙂
What’s up?<
I just don’t know really. Some days are okay and others I’m just down and irritable the entire day. Like extremely irritable. On those days I just want to go away because I feel like my kids would be better off without me. Especially w when I scream at my son. I’ve just been trying to change a lot about myself and I’m tired of all of it. I don’t know. AndrĂ© works a lot, I’m at home a lot. I hoped this exercise thing would boost me but its making me feel worse. But I do feel great after achieving something huge.
Why is the exercise thing making you feel worse?
I feel like I’m getting nowhere. I know it takes time. I just am so sick of feeling down about myself.
I know it’s frustrating. Believe me. But hang in there….
…And Samantha, I’d love to share some of this on next Monday’s post. I think there are SO MANY people out there who feel exactly the same way as you do. I feel like there are a bazillion people who read the blog who can relate exactly to what you are going through.
I think if you put it out there, you might get a surprising amount of support.
…I don’t mind you sharing it at all.
And then, she rallied.
She went out and bought a tape measure.
And THEEEEEEN, she got an elliptical machine off of Craigslist!
YES SAMANTHA!!!
That is the stuff that champions are made of.
Pushing through.
Sucking it up, and JUST DOING IT.
The hard work can suck.
Not seeing immediate results can suck too.
But you know what sucks more?
Knowing that you quit.
What doesn’t suck is rebooting. Perseverance. Success. Reaching the endpoint. Kicking some ass.
And then, that feeling of success will translate into other areas of your life.
When you push yourself out of your comfort zone physically, you realize you can push yourself mentally too.
Pushing yourself mentally is much harder than the physical thing.
For me anyway.
But a little 5K led to a half marathon which let to a little  triathlon which led to a bigger triathlon which led to a marathon.
Now I feel like I can get through anything physical or not.
Like getting my house cleaned up.
Like financially rough times.
Nothing is insurmountable.
Keep it up, Samantha.
Day 1
Day 29
Day 1
Day 29
Just as Samantha was turning things around, I got this message from Ashton:
I have hit a wall. It’s been a bad week in my life all around. It shouldn’t be an excuse – but it is for me. I’m really struggling with being disciplined about exercise. I am eating 90% better but am still battling exercise. I haven’t even gotten pics this week – terrible I know. This little boy (2 1/2 years old) that my family has known since he was born and have fostered for 14 months is leaving us tomorrow to fly to Tennessee and be dumped off at grandparent’s he’s never met and who have made no attempt to get to know him. Emotionally I am a wreck right now. I know I need to power through but I feel stuck right now – I don’t know WHY I can’t get motivated to work out. This really fucking sucks!!
Okay
So two things.
Samantha… if you are reading this….
“That other girl” is not your competition.
She’s your support.
You are each other’s support. You are going through the same stuff.
You have both plastered your pictures all over the blog.
Not many other people know what that feels like.
You can help each other.
Just as people learn differently and at different rates, they lose weight and their bodies change at different rates.
You can’t compare yourself to Ashton.
But you can help her.
She’s feeling the exact same way you were about a week ago.
You can each give each other encouragement.
The more support you both have, the more success you can both have.
And that’s what it’s all about.
Success.
Ashton…
You can do this.
You both can do this.
You have each other.
And you have all of us.
And believe me when I tell you there are many, many people out there who are struggling just like you are.
Be an inspiration for those people.
You won’t regret it.
I promise.
Help me stay Number 1!
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Samantha – you’ve been working out for three weeks. Three weeks and that, in itself, is awesome. Want to know what I’ve done in three weeks? Sit. On. My. Ass. My ‘growing larger’ ass. You are running, acknowledging that something needs to change for you to feel better, and you are doing something positive to help yourself feel better. You will get there. It sucks now but you’ll see it in the end. I just went out and ran a mile. It took me 18 minutes. I used to run a 10K in 45 minutes. I feel awful because I’m so slow but my friend said to me: You are running faster than the people just sitting on sofa. Get it?! Got it?! Do it! You can.
I personally had a friend who gained quite a bit of weight after going through a tough time in her life. When she started it took her a long time to find a routine she could stick to and wanted to give up when she didn’t see results. But she utilized her support system and after sticking to it, she lost the weight! YOU CAN DO IT! I know it is so much easier said than done but how good is it going to feel when you know you stuck it out?
Keeping a workout routine is hard enough, but with kids, I can easily see how someone would get discouraged! The first month of a routine is especially hard, but in the following months (at least in my experience), the results start to show and it just gets easier and easier to keep going!
You ladies are an inspiration! Being willing to post your pics and post your struggles is amazing. Hang in there, you have a lot of people rooting for you. I had to comment though because Samantha I wanted to ask if u had the same struggles with depression before you had kids? When u said that you sometimes felt like life would be better for your kids without you it raised a red flag in my mind and I went back to see how old your little girl is. I just had a baby myself and the doctor was telling me that post pardum depression can show up anytime the first 6 months. Maybe it is worth mentioning to your doctor how you are feeling. And remember, you are those children’s mommy for a reason! I’ve been reading a book called Unglued that is helping me so much with my yelling and reactions. Hang in there and remember we are all on your team!
I’ve always hated the three week mark, and the six week mark for weight loss goals. It sucks so much to be working so hard, and being so good and not see any results.
I also agree with Amber’s comment on postpartum depression. After I had my daughter I was desperately trying to lose the baby weight and deal with an infant and my job and just regular every day stuff and I crashed. I felt like there was something so wrong with me. I wasn’t enjoying my baby girl. I was mad at my husband all the time. I wasn’t losing weight and was so frustrated with everything that all I could do was sit and cry. I think hormonally, I was a mess. I got to work one day and wrote an email to everyone in my life, mother, husband, mother in law, daycare provider, and asked for help. It was all I could do. I didn’t know how to move forward and I was so miserable where I was that I knew I couldn’t stay there.
I don’t really even remember what people did to help me at that point, but I do remember them all rallying around me, supporting me, especially my husband. It made a big difference.
All I can say, is, it gets better, and don’t suffer in silence. Ask for help. Ask someone else to cook dinner one night. Ask someone to come watch the kids so you can go sit by yourself at a starbucks and splurge on a nonfat, mocha latte and not be ‘mom’ for just a few minutes. Sit by yourself at McDonalds and have a $.99 coffee, whatever. Just reach out and know that there are people who will help pull you back up.
Ladies, Susie is absolutely right! I have been feeling the same as you both! My co-worker and I started focusing on our weight and eating and working out together and we both were in the lull of working hard and seeing no results. We both hit the I-don’t-want-to-do-this-anymore wall. And we are both starting to move past that! Not that I am happy you both are struggling, but it is good to know that I am not alone! It is good to know that we all hit the wall. But I want you to know that it is a shorter wall than you think and easy to climb over. All you have to do is be miserable for like a week but KEEP DOING IT! Then all the sudden it doesn’t seem so bad, and the routine seems somewhat normal, and you almost-not-really-kind-of-maybe-maybe-not start to see some changes and start to almost-not-really-kind-of-maybe-maybe-not start to like working out… It starts to slowly get better and better and not seem so hard. And again, Susie is right about being a team! My co-worker and I push each other on bad days and make each other go when we don’t want to! Everyone says it, and I hate hearing the same thing over and over but its so damn true – having a partner is so much better for weight loss! Do it together ladies, and keep it up, you are doing great!