We have a hashtag in my membership group.
What does that stand for?
Time To Be A Grown Up.
One of the things I am working really hard on with myself and all my clients is taking ownership of all the sh*t that’s not going the way we want it to go.
The only person to point the finger at when you don’t like what’s going on in your life is….
This has taken me a very long time to learn.
It is much easier to point the finger at other people and blame them than it is to take a good, hard look at yourself.
But here’s the thing.
If you are going to give other people all the credit for the shitty parts of your life then you also have to give them credit for all the good parts.
Or, you can be a grown up and own it.
If you are overwhelmed by your schedule, you made it.
If you don’t like driving your kids all over creation after school during the week, well, you are the one who signed them up for a bunch of different activities.
Don’t have time to chill out on the weekends? You created that problem, too.
Your husband never contributes and you do everything all by yourself and you are really fucking sick of it?
You failed to create boundaries or you need to be in control of everything and you have set that routine up.
Your house is a mess and it’s driving you insane?
You set up the system, not your kids.
You are thirty pounds overweight and haven’t been able to lose weight no matter what you have tried?
It’s not your husband’s fault because he’s not on board. He’s not holding you down and forcing you to eat.
You don’t exercise because you don’t have time?
There are women who have multiple kids and not a lot of money who work outside the home who do exercise and their days are also the same 24 hours as yours.
Whatever your situation is, there is only one person who can change it.
A year or so ago I first saw the term accountability mirror when I read Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins.
And this year, I made one for myself.
My bathroom mirror happens to have trim around it that is the perfect size for Post-its.
So I made a few and I put them around my mirror.
Some remind me of the goals I want to achieve in 2020.
Some remind me that little habits add up and that no effort is too small.
Some are long term and some are short term.
Some remind me that if there is something going on in my life that I’m not happy about, the only person who can change that is me.
Some remind me to focus not on how badly I don’t want to do something in the moment, but on how I want to feel at the end of the day.
Every time I look in the accountability mirror, I’ll get a little reminder of who is ultimately responsible for every part of my life.
If you want to make changes in 2020, the first thing you need to do is own your shit.
Because until that happens, you are going to have to wait for everyone you come into contact with to change in order for your life to change.
You can blame everyone around you and wait for them to pull their heads out of their asses (you’ll be waiting forever), or you can pull your own head out of your ass and change what you can control.
Your thoughts and your actions.
If you need a little help in this department, then maybe an accountability mirror will help you, too.
Come back tomorrow for Day 2 of this blog series, where I’m gonna tell you why change is so hard and why you haven’t stuck to a New Year’s Resolution yet.