Number 5 (5 years old), Number 6 (4 years old), and Number 7 (3 years old) are in that stage of childhood where the ultimate burn-sizzle is “I’m not going to be your friend anymore.”
As soon as one pisses the other one off, the auto reply button is pressed.
Oh yeah! Well I’m not your friend anymore!
If your kids are anything like mine, then they either totally love each other, or they are on a mission to bug the living sh*t out of each other.
The other day, Number 5 was not being very nice to Number 7.
“You’re a Dumb Dummy McDumbster!” she said to her.
Normally we would intervene immediately. I hate the name calling. Especially when it involves dumb and stupid.
But Number 7 can fend for herself pretty well.
“I’m just going to say Hello Fwend,” she said.
Number 5 was taken aback. Her plan was backfiring.
“Shut up, Dummy!” said Number 5.
“Hello, Fwend,” replied Number 7.
“You’re a dummy!” yelled Number 5, growing more and more irritated by her inability to get a rise out of her sister.
“Hello, Fwend,” replied Number 7, again, this time with a smile.
“HELLO, DUMMY!” yelled Number 5 even louder.
“Hello, Fwend,” replied Number 5.
After three or four more Dummy/Fwend exchanges, Number 7 (and a firm suggestion by my husband) finally wore Number 5 down.
“HELLO FRIEND,” said Number 5 through gritted teeth.
“No. You have to say it nicely,” Number 7 told her. “Like this. Hello, Fwend. And smile.”
And that was the end of that.
The next time someone flips you the bird or calls you a name or just acts like a total a-hole for no reason, don’t be a Dumb Dummy McDumbster.
Instead, take a page out of Number 7’s book, look at them, give them a smile and your very nicest Hello, Fwend.
I bet you’ll take the wind right out of their Dumb Dummy McDumbster sails.
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