My kids really pissed me off yesterday. So I yelled at them. Not all at once. I let my anger out in intervals. Throughout the day. I mean, why only ruin one small part of the day when you can ruin the whole thing, right? I slept right through my alarm, and I didn’t wake up […]
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Chalk another one up for the benefits of family dinners.
Just in case you were worried that all your compliments were giving me an inflated ego, I want to assure you that my children are always available to smack my self-esteem right back down to where it usually is. And, I don’t know about you, but I could use just a tiny little break from […]
CAUTION: Objects on the television are 10 pounds lighter than they appear. At least.
Tonight is Dateline night. Part of me is hoping to be on for more than one minute. But part of me isn’t. Punctuality has never been a strength of mine. I’m never ready ahead of time. When people come over for a playdate, or a party, or a holiday, I am usually in the shower. If I’m really […]
Move over Jackson Pollock
There is, well, was, this painter named Mark Rothko. Now I’m no art officionado. But I just don’t get this shit. Here is one of his paintings: It’s called “White Center.” It sold for $72.84 million dollars. $72.84 million fucking dollars. Here is “No. 1.” That one sold for $75,000,000. And recently, “Orange, Red, Yellow” […]
No means no. Sometimes. Sort of.
To write about this, or not to write about this… That is the question. But. Well. I can’t help myself… There was a clip from Good Morning America on the internet yesterday. It was about a 9-year-old girl who lost 66 pounds in less than a year. First, let me be clear. Yes, I think […]
I’m pretty sure tube tops are off the list too…
So according to a stupid article I read on the internet yesterday, I am too old to be applying a fake tan. Which is okay, because I like to get my wrinkles the old fashioned way. And I’m also too old to be wearing leather pants. I don’t know if I think I’m too old […]