I am not a conservative person. I’ve got tattoos. I’ve been pierced in more places than just my ears. I’m not easily offended. And I like to say fuck. A lot. But when it comes to my kids, that’s a whole different story. We’ve got seven kids. Yeah. Seven. The youngest five are all under […]
Parenting
Mom, What Are THESE For???
You know my kids have a thing for feminine hygiene products. They’re pretty creative with them. They use them for wine glass cozies and sportswear, and blindfolds, and diapers. Every once in a while they will ask what they are actually for. This is a tricky one for me. Not because I’m uncomfortable discussing these […]
Less squandering. More participating.
I had one of those mornings. The kind where you get up too late, and then you are scrambling and you just can’t catch up. Where you are trying to fill out the permission slip you should taken care of the night before and then making the lunch for the kindergartener you should have made the […]
A little too close for comfort.
Do you ever have one of those parenting near misses? The kind where you caught your kid doing something really bad? Something that could have been beyond disastrous? But Thank God, you caught the kid just in the nick of time? But then all you can do is conjure up every single God-awful scenario that could […]
I don’t have a favorite child. But I often have a least favorite one.
I remember an article circulating around a while back written by a woman admitting she had a favorite child. I never actually read it, but I think it pretty much said that we all have a favorite kid. We just don’t admit it. I have been thinking about this favorite child thing for a long […]
The Top 10 Things My Kids Said To Me This Week.
10) Mom, my teacher is a little prettier than you. And A LOT skinnier than you. 9) Mom, you smell disgusting. 8) Mom, when I get married, do you think my wife will be like you? I hope she is. 7) You’re a stupid mommy. Stupid mommy. Stu. Pid. Mom. Eeee. 6) Mom. Gross. Put […]