You know my kids have a thing for feminine hygiene products.
They’re pretty creative with them.
They use them for wine glass cozies
Every once in a while they will ask what they are actually for.
This is a tricky one for me.
Not because I’m uncomfortable discussing these things or using the anatomically correct terms for body parts.
It’s more that once Number 4 learns about something, she cannot stop herself from sharing her newly acquired knowledge with, well, everybody.
And she talks at one of two volume settings: loud and super fucking loud.
So if I explained to her or any of the kids how a woman sheds the lining of her uterus each month and when that happens she bleeds like a motherfucker out of her bonus third hole,
well, I’m not sure the administration would be okay with her giving the rest of the third grade class a sex education lesson.
Then, when my friend sent me this message on Facebook:
I didn’t really have a great answer.
I don’t want to lie to the kids.
But, as Jack would say, they can’t handle the truth.
So I just tell them they are special band aids for moms.
Technically, it’s not a lie.
And it’s seemed to satisfy their curiosity.
We’re going to keep it at that for now.
And hopefully nobody asks again until Number 4 is in high school.