It’s resolution time! Are your kids making resolutions? Do they need some ideas? If so, they, and you, are in luck! I have a whole bunch for them to choose from right here: 1. I will only flush shit that is actually shit down the toilet. 2. When my sister asks me to stop looking […]
Lessons I've Learned
The best gifts can’t be wrapped.
The old ladies in the locker room at the gym fall into two categories. The really cranky ones and the really happy ones. The really cranky ones are annoyed when the floor gets wet and when there are kids in there and when someone takes their shower and if your bag is on the bench […]
What the experts say. And what you really do.
When you are pregnant for the first time, there is a good chance you do your homework. You read a lot of books. You find out what the experts say. And you follow their directions. For like eleven minutes. Then you learn better. And you do what really works, especially with respect to the […]
Just call me Mrs. Zoolander.
I’ve been trying really hard to teach the kids that the most important thing about a person is his or her character. That kindness and respect and compassion and responsibility and perseverance and hard work are much more important than your physical appearance. You know, that what really matters isn’t what’s on the outside, but […]
I never thought I’d be thankful for this. But I am.
Fifteen years ago when I was single and teaching 4th grade and living on my own, I blew pretty much all of my salary on clothing. I had a seriously kick-ass wardrobe. Every outfit I owned came from J Crew and Gap and Banana Republic. I can safely say that I was the best dressed teacher […]
Dear Exasperated Mom
Dear Exasperated Mom, I know how you feel. You are tired. Tired of the monotony. Tired of your own version of Groundhog Day. Tired of the seat belts and the sippy cups and the diapers and the marker on the wall and the tantrums and the Caillou and the food on the floor, and now that […]