You know my kids have a thing for feminine hygiene products. They’re pretty creative with them. They use them for wine glass cozies and sportswear, and blindfolds, and diapers. Every once in a while they will ask what they are actually for. This is a tricky one for me. Not because I’m uncomfortable discussing these […]
Funny Stuff
10 Things I Would Rather Do Than Attend One More Elementary School Class Halloween (or Christmas or Valentine’s Day) Party
1. My taxes. 2. Empty the dishwasher. Repeatedly. For an hour. 3. Pretend to be interested while watching my child play a video game. 4. Play Barbies. 5. Put away the folded laundry. 6. Teach my child with non-existent fine motor skills how to tie her shoes. 7. Explain why I have fur on my bagiiiiiina to my three-year-old. […]
Dear Renee
Dear Renée, I saw your picture. The one that everyone is talking about. The one where they say you look unrecognizable. Not that it really matters, but here’s what I think. Either way, you’re kind of screwed. When people see pictures of actresses and models who are showing the signs of aging, they are quick […]
A little too close for comfort.
Do you ever have one of those parenting near misses? The kind where you caught your kid doing something really bad? Something that could have been beyond disastrous? But Thank God, you caught the kid just in the nick of time? But then all you can do is conjure up every single God-awful scenario that could […]
I don’t have a favorite child. But I often have a least favorite one.
I remember an article circulating around a while back written by a woman admitting she had a favorite child. I never actually read it, but I think it pretty much said that we all have a favorite kid. We just don’t admit it. I have been thinking about this favorite child thing for a long […]
The Top 10 Things My Kids Said To Me This Week.
10) Mom, my teacher is a little prettier than you. And A LOT skinnier than you. 9) Mom, you smell disgusting. 8) Mom, when I get married, do you think my wife will be like you? I hope she is. 7) You’re a stupid mommy. Stupid mommy. Stu. Pid. Mom. Eeee. 6) Mom. Gross. Put […]