Progression of A Photo Shoot

There is a walkway from the condo complex we are staying in to the beach.

It’s a beautiful walk through a marsh to the ocean, and it’s the perfect spot for taking pictures.

I don’t have a real camera. I just have my phone. But it takes pretty good pictures.

So the other day I waited until the sun was setting, and I attempted a photo shoot with Number 3, 4, 5, 6,and 7.

There is a lot to look at on the walk over to the beach.


And there are plenty of distractions over the side of the bridge.


I had a couple spots in mind to try to get a good shot.

I’m no professional photographer. But I have a pretty good eye for what will make a decent picture.

At least I think so.

So we started on this bench.

It’s a challenge to get all five kids to look at you at the same time.


(Although I really like the ones where one of the kids is looking at another kid. Especially when it’s the little sister looking up to her big sister.)

There is also the challenge of getting a shot of all the kids with their eyes open.


And cheesy smiles, slouchy posture, Zoolander expressions, and just general awkwardness.


The kids eventually start to feel a little more relaxed and less forced, but the picture is blurry and one of the kids is like, Fuck it. I’m out of here.


So you switch locations.

You go to the end of the walkway where the white iron gate is.

You really want to get some pictures in front of it, but the kids keep opening it, so you say screw the gate, and you go to the other side of it.


You go past the gate, and you ask the kids to pretend they like each other.


But there are more distractions and Number 7 whips her flip flop over the fence into the dunes and then there is a freak out because the sign behind you says you’ll get fined or arrested if you go into the dunes and Number 5 is sure we will all spend the rest of vacation in jail if we go over the fence to retrieve it.

You get the flip flop, avoid incarceration, and gather the kids together.

Number 6 has to see if he can whip his flip flop over the fence from where he is standing. One kid looks terrible. One is moving. One isn’t looking. And one looks great.


You get close with one shot.



Close again, but the smiles are kind of forced.


You like this one because Number 3 appears to really like Number 4, but she looks a little bit like she’s trying to escape, and you’d also really like to see all the kids’ faces.


Close again, but it sort of looks like Number 3 is getting ready to put Number 4 into a head lock and she still looks annoyed.


And now they’ve reached the fuck it stage again.


You decide to take a little break and switch locations.

You like this spot the best.

But Number 6 is being,




Number 6.


You threaten Number 6 with no technology indefinitely and he gets his act together.

But then Number 5 is having a moment.


Number 3 starts fading. Number 6 starts being a pain again.

They rally, but then Number 7’s eyes are closed.


And then, just as you are beginning to lose all hope and pack it in…



The stars align.

And all the frustration, aggravation, threats, bribes, tears, and meltdowns and freak outs are forgotten.

Until the next vacation when you will inevitably go through the exact same thing all over again.


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