When it comes to making commitments and keeping them, most of us are what Gretchen Rubin would call obligers.
We are really good at keeping commitments to other people, but we suck at keeping commitments to ourselves.
There are many reasons why it’s more challenging to stay committed to changes we want to make in ourselves than it is to keep our commitments to friends and family and coworkers and bosses.
We don’t want to let them down. So we do the stuff we committed to even when we don’t want to.
But when it comes to ourselves, we don’t act on our commitments.
We act on our feelings.
If we don’t feel like going to work we still do it out of obligation to other people.
We act on the commitment we made.
But when it comes to the promises we make to ourselves —
I won’t eat a bunch of shit today.
I will get up early tomorrow.
I won’t stay up past 10 pm tonight.
I will save money by making dinner tonight instead of ordering out.
I won’t spend hours on my phone today.
When we make these commitments to ourselves and then it comes time to take action, we act on our feelings.
If you are trying to make changes and not succeeding, pay attention to why you are getting off track.
Don’t act on your feelings.
Act on the promises you make to yourself.
It sucks in the moment, but in the long run, it doesn’t suck at all.
Have a change you are struggling with?
Let me know in the comments. I’d love to help you out.