Two days ago I had an epiphany about my need to surrender in order to survive.
Yesterday three really awesome things happened once I finally decided to surrender.
Which was really cool.
But I don’t want to give anyone the impression that surrendering is a piece of cake and that everything is awesoooooooooommmmme once you figure it out.
Today I was presented with an opportunity which normally throws me into holy-shit-I-need-to-fix-this mode.
Every fiber of my being said, FUCK YOU SURRENDERING.
NOT TODAY.
I had a panic attack.
I started and stopped sending about ten different texts.
I typed one.
Then I deleted it.
The I typed another one.
And then I deleted it.
I did that a bunch of times today.
Surrendering takes massive amounts of restraint on my part.
But once I can get it mastered — can you master surrendering? — or once it comes a little bit more naturally, I realize I will save a whole bunch of time and anxiety.
So I’m still working on it.
But it sure isn’t easy.
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