This first day of summer has snuck up on me.
I’m not prepared. I’m not organized.
It’s kind of like when Christmas seems so far away, and you know you have plenty of time. And then all of a sudden, BAM. It’s Christmas Eve Day and you haven’t wrapped a single present. You haven’t even finished your shopping.
And you freak out.
I am freaking out a little bit.
Swim practice times have changed. My coaching hours are completely different. Summer swim team is starting. I started teaching swim lessons here at home yesterday. I am also close to launching a new and improved website and I have kind of a massive amount of work to do for that. From home.
And all the kids are here now. Every day. All. Day. Long.
Oh yeah. And it’s Number 3’s birthday today.
I feel so overwhelmed that I’m kind of paralyzed. I’m having trouble knowing or deciding where to start.
This paralysis leads to avoidance, where, inevitably, I end up on Facebook.
And Facebook is flooded with last day of school pictures/celebrations/whatever.
I managed to take a first day of school picture for some of the kids back in August..
But there was no last day of school pic.
Apparently the thing to do these days is have your kids wear the same outfit on the first and last day of school. And then document both days.
At least if you really have your shit together.
I don’t have my shit together.
I didn’t decorate the driveway with chalk or buy sparklers or make a cake with a custom message or go out for celebratory ice cream yesterday.
And today I didn’t start Number 3’s birthday off with a special birthday breakfast. In fact, I’ve planned nothing for him.
For me, right now, the goal is no blood, no fire, and no death.
And the no blood goal is pretty lofty.
I am functioning on the basics. Keep everyone alive.
Today I am just going to tread water. It is only about keeping my head above water.
I’m not worrying about forward progress. There will be no pressure to check anything off a to-do list. The kids may eat Frosted Mini Wheats for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
They will survive. If I keep it simple for today, we all will.
Tomorrow, I’ll make a small list, and start to pick away at it.
I love summer. I really do. It is BY FAR my favorite season.
But this year the transition into it has not been smooth. At all.
When Number 6 first started preschool, he had a very hard time transitioning from one activity to another. Any time he had to stop one thing and start another, he would be inconsolable.
At the time I was frustrated by this. I couldn’t relate.
But today, I can.
If I were four years old, I’d be hysterical right now.
So if you, like me, feel like you are one of the only people on the planet who is overwhelmed by this change in routine, who is struggling with it a little bit (or a lot), and who is not even close to 100% excited that the school year has ended, you are absolutely not the only one.
And it’s okay to give yourself some time. Take the day. Take a week (or a month) if you need to!
Let the kids watch too much TV. Let them eat crap for a day.
Just keep everyone alive. And survive.
You can start to sort things out tomorrow. Or next week.
You’ll get your shit mostly or sort of or maybe just marginally together eventually.
Until then, just breathe. Take comfort in knowing that at least one other person out there gets it. And you are definitely not alone.