You Smell Like A Butthole

Number 7’s go to insult is “You smell like a butthole.”

A few years ago, I would have responded to this differently than I do now.  A few years ago, I would have reprimanded and shamed any of the kids for speaking to each other that way. Or I would have, out of exasperation, pretended I just didn’t hear it.

But now I take a different approach.

A couple weeks ago I shared a story about Number 6 and the super cute mini essay he wrote about kindness in school.

My favorite line from that was, “kindness means sooooo so much.”

Now whenever anyone does or says anything that isn’t very kind, that’s how I respond.

Sometimes the kids roll their eyes, but more often than not, it helps them to stop and think about how they are treating the other person.

Then I try to help the kids find another way to deal with being angry or annoyed or frustrated or whatever it is they are feeling.

The other day, I was in the kitchen with Number 5, 6, and 7, and Number 6 did something to piss Number 7 off, and she immediately went to her old standby response of “You smell like a butthole.”

Then Number 6 replied with something along the lines of “You smell like a vagina,” which happens to be his go-to insult.

That’s when I chimed in with “Kindness means sooooo so much.”

Number 6’s response was, “But she said I smelled like a butthole first.”

So I tried to explain that sometimes when people get frustrated or angry, they say hurtful things to you because they are super emotional or because they are feeling so badly that they want you to feel bad, too. And when you come back at them with another insult, that’s when things can spiral out of control.

I asked them, “How else could you handle someone saying something mean to you so you don’t say something mean back?”

They needed some help.

So I suggested using a sense of humor.

I said to Number 6, what if you said, “I know! I’m wearing my Butthole Cologne today. I put in on this morning right after I got dressed! I’m so glad you noticed it!!!”

The three of them burst out laughing. They thought it was hysterical.

Giving them another way to respond to the situation completely took the wind out of the smelly butthole sails.

I didn’t know if they would use this strategy on their own, but it definitely worked in the moment.

Yesterday at breakfast, Number 5, 6, and 7 were eating, and Number 7 got annoyed about something again, and she said to Number 5, “YOU SMELL LIKE POOP.”

And Number 5 replied with, “Thank you! I’m wearing my poop perfume today!”

She didn’t get all worked up, and Number 7 wasn’t stopped in her tracks.

Yes! It worked!!!

We will continue to practice this.

And this doesn’t only work with the kids. It works for you, too!

Your sense of humor is one of your biggest parenting tools.

Don’t forget to use it, especially the next time someone says to you, You smell like a butthole.

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