I remember when Oprah lost a ton of weight.
And then she gained a lot of it back.
I remember reading this quote from her.
In 1992 I reached my heaviest, 237 pounds. I was 38. Then, four years ago, I made it a goal to lose weight, and I appeared on the January 2005 cover (left) at a toned 160 pounds. I thought I was finished with the weight battle. I was done. I’d conquered it. I was so sure, I was even cocky…
I can relate.
Because I fell off the wagon.
The last time I posted pictures of myself was on September 16.
I was 6 weeks from the NYC marathon.
I was sure I had things under control.
I had a handle on things.
I was a changed woman.
On November 4, I finished the marathon.
After that, I continued to work out, but not at the I’m-training-for-a-marathon level.
Unfortunately, I kept eating like I was still training for a marathon.
So where many people pack on the pounds in the weeks between the holidays,
I packed them on before the holidays.
10 of them, to be exact.
I’ve been having an internal debate with myself.
Should I come clean?
Do I fess up?
Or do I just not tell anyone?
If I admit that I gained some weight, then will I lose all credibility?
What will happen to my ecourses?
Will people still join?
Should I wait until January 1st?
Start over in the New Year?
But that’s not what I tell other people to do.
So, I’m coming clean.
I’m practicing what I preach, and I’m putting it out there.
And this time, I’m putting it ALL out there.
Even the number on the scale.
Now, to me, it’s not about the actual number.
I have more muscle in my body than I’ve ever had, even in college when I was swimming.
I’m more concerned with how I feel, and how my clothes feel.
But that number serves as a baseline.
I know that the number I want to be at is around 137 pounds.
That’s not unreasonable. That’s 15 pounds heavier than I was when I got married.
So here is the number I’m at now…
I could beat myself up.
I could look at this as a failure.
But it’s not.
It’s a setback.
And I could wait until the New Year.
But I don’t want to.
Because on January 1st, I don’t want to be looking back with regret, asking myself why I didn’t start getting myself back on track earlier.
So here goes.
Here I was on September 16th.
And here I am today.
September 16th…
Today…
You can see where the weight goes first.
Straight to my stomach.
Am I a little bummed?
Yep.
A little disappointed?
Uh huh.
But I’m human.
And rather than throwing in the towel and saying fuck it,
well,
I opted to kick it up a notch.
I could have wallowed in self pity this morning.
I could have bashed myself repeatedly.
But I didn’t.
You know what I did instead?
I did something I’ve never done before.
I did something big.
I.
did.
this…
Yep.
It’s official.
A Half Iron Triathlon.
On June 22nd, I’ll be swimming 1.2 miles, biking 56 miles, and running 13.1 miles.
Go big or go home.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a wagon to get back on.
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Thank you!
Susie you have the biggest TITANIUM BALLS ON THE PLANET!! You dont know me from diddly but Im really proud of you.
Im struggling right now, in a bad place and reading your blog is what I needed this morning.
Thank you for being you in front of the world
Susie,
Thank you for your post. I’ve been struggling the last month as well. By putting it out there, you make others feel better.
Monica
you rock Susie! I’ll most likely be there supporting the TNT triathletes ( am now asst. coach)so ill Cheer you on . And my big event on my birthday weekend will be the Hartford half marathon! you go girl!
try resistance training (weight training) for a while. add in protein to your diet and remove some carbs. you will build tone and muscle that will increase your metabolic engine. also, you will improve the appearance of your shape.
Hey Bubba… are you trying to get your ass kicked by a girl? 😉
Hey, Susie! I just had to drop you a note to say what an inspiring woman you are! I found you on Top Mommy Blogs and of course voted for you. You made me cry real tears with the vaginal knitting story! (The chocolate cake, etc.) I love your creative imagination! You are a gifted comedienne. But this post is exceptional. Not only your funny-as-usual, but so awe-inspiring. No grown woman I know would be brave enough to post bikini pics. Like Flowers1 said above, I don’t even know you, but I am so proud of you anyway! A half iron marathon? Really? I can’t express how impressed I am. Please keep inspiring the rest of us.
I participated in your last lose it course. You gave me the motivation to get out and get moving. The furthest I had run prior to your course was 1 mile, which was 15 years ago. My goal at the end if the course was to run a 5k. I finished a 10k on thanksgiving day and jogged the whole way! I would never have done that without you. Now my husband is getting involved and we eventually want to complete a marathon. Thanks!
I just love you Susie!
Susie – I just read this! And boy did I need it. I didn’t rejoin FFF because I was so embarrassed and disappointed that I let myself slip…my work outs fell off because of some reason which I can’t remember now and then the eat followed. I put on some weight and thought…screw it…I will wait until the New Year. This post showed me that everyone…even Not Your Average Mom, can slip but that doesn’t mean you quit. I am ready to get back. and while it may be too late to join FFF for this session. I will be back next. I think this post only served to bolster your credibility. At least with me! Thanks again!
xoxoxo Abby
Good for you, Susie! To be honest, other than the fact that I actually enjoy running these days, setting the 2015 goal of the half marathon was to keep me on track long-term, so I can totally related to what you’re saying here.
A great thing you are doing here, and I love your gusto! Someone stated that you have titanium balls. I say no… I don’t know who actually said this originally, but it is befitting: “Why do some people say, ‘Grow some balls?’ Balls are weak and sensitive. If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things take a pounding.” Hmmm, now that I read this again, it may not be so fitting, but still funny! I am still going to post this to you. Hats off to you!!