It took me a long time to build up the courage to file for divorce.
A long time.
I knew for years what the right thing to do was. In my gut I knew I was fighting the inevitable.
But I just didn’t have the inner strength — the inner belief — to pull the trigger.
I tried more than once.
But then I’d lose my nerve.
I’d convince myself things were fixable or not so bad.
Ultimately I started telling myself, “You just have to last for thirteen more years. Twelve more years. Eleven more years…
I just had to make it until our youngest graduated from high school.
Then I could file.
Because I couldn’t live without the kids.
I’d been there pretty much every minute of every day of their lives.
I’d been a full-time stay at home mom for the first seven years of my marriage.
I gave birth to five kids in less than seven years.
Once the dust started to settle a little bit, once there were no more babies and everyone slept through the night and diapers were a thing of the past and the kids were all in school, it became very obvious that the chaos of lots of little kids was not the problem.
In fact, things only went downhill from there.
The more my brain cleared up, the more I saw reality.
I wanted to ignore reality.
Because reality meant divorce.
And divorce meant my family unit as I had always known it, fucked up as it was, would soon cease to exist.
I was terrified of the unknown in that department.
I was certain I wasn’t strong enough to handle it.
I was certain the kids would be completely destroyed.
I was sure I would be completely destroyed.
Strangely enough, the financial side of things didn’t worry me.
Once the kids got a little older, I started working part time.
I coached the swim team at night.
I taught swim lessons in the summer.
I started writing this blog, having absolutely no idea what I was doing or where that would lead.
When I began documenting the weight loss journey I was on on the blog, the idea of an online weight loss course was suggested to me by a friend.
I desperately needed money at the time, so I was like, FUCK IT. LET’S DO IT.
And Fit, Fierce, and Fabulous was born.
That was the name of my very first online course.
That’s, as the kids these days say, SO CRINGEY.
I had no idea what the hell I was doing back then.
Slowly what I realized I wanted to do started to change.
Fit, Fierce and Fabulous, which was focused on weight loss, morphed into Not Your Average Fitness Course.
Not Your Average Fitness Course become more focused on exercise than weight loss.
It was during NYAFC that I realized I was much more passionate about helping women make exercise a consistent habit, and so Home BACE (Become A Consistent Excerciser) was born.
It was during Home BACE when I realized it wasn’t making exercise a habit that I was truly passionate about.
It was about helping women reach their goals and actually have results.
It was teaching women how to develop habits in manageable ways that worked individually for each member of my course, no matter what habit they were trying to implement.
Watching women learn how to tolerate discomfort and create chains of wins and grow more and more empowered with each accomplishment is one of the most rewarding things I’ve done in my life.
And it was this realization that let me to discover what it REALLY is I want to help women learn how to do.
I thought I was passionate about teaching other women how to get shit done. How to get results. How to finally achieve those goals we repeatedly set for ourselves year after year after year but never find a way to achieve.
I am passionate about that. I do want to help you get results.
But you’re never going to get results when you don’t believe in yourself. When you don’t have any faith in yourself.
And that’s what it is I am passionate about teaching.
I teach you how to fucking believe in yourself.
Because when you believe in yourself, you can achieve any result you dream up in your head.
When you believe in yourself, you aren’t afraid to fail.
When you believe in yourself, you look at obstacles as challenges rather than the end.
When you believe in yourself, you don’t give a flying fuck what other people think about you.
When you believe in yourself, you know whatever life throws at you, you fucking got this.
When you believe in yourself, you know your kids don’t define you.
When you believe in yourself, you have the strength and courage to file for divorce even when you have no idea how you’re going to support yourself financially.
And upon this realization, the Empowerment Experience and E-School were born.
In the Empowerment Experience, I teach you what you need to know and do in order to get results.
I teach you what you need to know.
Is it what you want to know?
Because most of the answers to what is holding you back from success in any area of your life aren’t found in a PDF. They aren’t found in a planner. They aren’t found in a workout plan. They aren’t found in a meal plan.
They are found between your own two years.
You just don’t know how to access that shit yet.
It’s gloriously simple, actually.
But simple and easy aren’t the same.
It’s hard work to learn how to believe in yourself when your thoughts have been automatically going to some form of you’re a failure/loser/idiot/whatever for twenty or thirty or forty or fifty or sixty years.
But you know what else is hard work?
Existing and believing you aren’t worthy of happiness is hard work. It’s a horribly tiring way to live.
Living every day believing you can’t be happy until you reach a certain number on the scale is physically and emotionally draining.
Staying in an unhealthy or unhappy marriage for decades because you don’t think you can survive on your own or without your kids is a really sucky way to live. It’s also fucking exhausting.
And now that I’m on the other side of divorce – and I’m still alive!!! – what I most want to do is help you learn how to believe in yourself so you don’t let any more years of your life pass you by with nothing to show for it except exhaustion and regret.
And this is why I would LOVE for you to join me next week in my FREE challenge.
I’m challenging you to simply join me.
I’m challenging you to be honest with yourself.
And I’m challenging you to give yourself a chance for success.
Just like Dee did.
Because you might not believe in yourself yet.