I need to find balance.
We’ve all seen that phrase and we’ve all uttered that sentence.
But the truth is, balance isn’t a noun.
Everything has a vibration.
It may not be detectable to the human eye, but there is a vibration there. Even the chair you are sitting in right now.
Nothing is ever truly in a state of balance.
But we are always in the act of balancing.
You and I never truly find balance. The noun.
When you learn to ride a bike you haven’t achieved balance.
You’ve perfected the skill of balance-ing.
When you learn to walk, the art of learning to how to balance is quite obvious.
So many of us strive for balance – the noun – in our lives, but the truth is, it doesn’t exist.
Not as a noun.
We are always shifting. We are always adjusting. We are always trying to find a place where both sides of the scale are completely even.
But that never happens.
Something is usually taking priority over something else.
That’s ultimately how you get ahead in any area of your life. You give it more attention than something else.
It’s how you make progress.
You devote a little bit more time to something so you can get it done.
And something inevitably gets less attention as a result.
You can’t do all the things simultaneously.
If you have kids you’ve been in that situation where you are cleaning up one room and they are destroying another one at the same time.
If you’ve ever trained for a marathon, you’ve devoted a big chunk of time to that. And then something else gets less attention.
If you volunteer to run an event for your kids’ school, something else gets less attention.
I just recently finalized a divorce, I’m still living in the same house as my ex-husband, and I’m also preparing to move.
I’m hardly attempting to balance anything right now. Because it’s nearly impossible.
My goals until I move are to 1) keep myself healthy, 2) keep my kids alive and healthy and 3) generate enough income to pay my bills.
Is the house spotless?
HELL NO. (Although it never really is, so I can’t use the moving/divorce as an excuse).
Have I been cooking amazing meals for my children every night? Or even pretty healthy meals every night? Or even most nights?
Shit is going to be WAY out of balance for the next couple weeks and that’s just the way it’s gonna to be.
I’m balancing four things the best I can for the next month: taking care of my physical and mental health, taking care of my kids, generating income, and moving.
Everything else is going to have to wait. Or just get less attention than it normally would.
These are the only four things I can attempt to put on the back of my bike right now and still ride it without totally falling over.
And there is still the chance I could crash at any time.
Once the move is done and I’m settled in my new place, then there will be new things to throw life out of balance.
I’ll want to paint my new house and unpack and rearrange things and help my kids decorate their bedrooms and figure out new routines and all sorts of stuff.
Everything will still be out of balance.
And then once I get really settled into my new place, Number 4 will go back to boarding school and I’ll have to rebalance again.
So this is just a little reminder to stop trying to find balance.
Because balance isn’t a thing you find.
It’s a thing you do.
Focus on the stuff that’s important and figure out what isn’t quite so important and take it off the back of your bike altogether until you are at a point where you can handle it without killing yourself.
(As long as it’s not your physical or mental health – that stuff needs to stay on the back of the bike all the times.)
When life is really feeling crazy, just like when you are first learning to ride a bike, keep it simple.
You don’t learn to ride a bike with 100 pounds of shit on the back of it.
Start with a firm grip on the things that are important (the handlebars), and keep the load light.
That makes balancing much easier at first.
Once you become more skilled at balancing, you can even do it while carrying some extra weight behind you.
And heck, eventually you might be able to do it with no hands!
But if you find yourself constantly falling off your bike, go back to basics.
Lighten the load.
Hold onto the important stuff.
Everything else can stay behind for a little while.
And at some point, when you are ready, you can circle back around and pick it up then.