Week 48

54 weeks ago I had pretty major  prolapse surgery including a hysterectomy.

Due to the severity of the prolapse, I stopped most exercise.

I did not stop eating, though.

And I packed on some serious pounds.

50 weeks ago, when I was pretty much healed, I decided it was time to reclaim my fitness and health.

I waited the mandatory 6 weeks to start exercising post-surgery.

And then I started back up on day 43.

I missed exercising so badly.

My body missed it.

My brain 100% for sure missed it.

And so I started back with some running and some lifting. I swam a little and did two triathlons this past summer.

I ran the Hartford Marathon about 5 months ago in October.

Then I was super motivated to really increase my running training, because I really want to qualify for the Boston Marathon.

To do that, I need to run a marathon 47 minutes faster than my personal best.

That’s a lot of minutes.

But I know I can do it if I really stay focused and determined.

In December I gave myself the goal of running 100 miles, which would be the most miles I had ever run in one month in my life.

I did it.

I ran 107 miles!

With Christmas and the kids home for vacation and everything!

Feeling super accomplished, I upped my goal for January to 125 miles.

And then I don’t really know what happened, but January was tough for me.

And I only did 72.4 miles.

Feeling a little bit disappointed, I made a new goal for February.

February was a shit show.

I was super inconsistent, and I lost discipline and motivation and my mojo.

And this is where my message for you is today.

When most of us get to this point where we fall off the path and don’t reach our goals, we just throw in the towel and say fuck it.

Because if we can’t do things perfectly, then we are failures, so why bother at all, right?

But here’s the thing.

We are all going to veer off the path at some point.

I veered way off the path in the eating department in January and February.

I ate my way through stress. I allowed my habits and discipline to fall by the wayside.

And I packed on a few pounds again.

When I gain weight it goes directly to my midsection.

DIRECTLY TO MY MIDSECTION.

Also, I need a tan.

Also also, lighting is really important.

Anyway, I had a little backslide in the taking care of myself and valuing my insides and outsides in January and February.

I’m ahead of where I was a year ago, but I’m not where I was a couple months ago.

THAT’S OKAY THOUGH.

Because I have given myself permission to fail and THEN KEEP GOING.

I used January and February as lessons for what works and what doesn’t work and as mirrors to look in so I can see where I need to make some changes.

AND I’M BACK ON TRACK!!!

I reined the eating back in, I’m really looking at what, when, and why I do stuff that doesn’t help me get closer to my goal of feeling stronger and healthier and qualifying for the Boston Marathon, and I’m refocused and still determined.

Here are my running totals for March so far:

The averages are off because we are only 11 days into the month, but I’m at 29.6 miles so far.

I’m behind the goal I set for myself for this month right now, but there is still hope for me to catch up!

So this is your reminder that falling off the path is okay.

When you are taking a road trip and you get off on the wrong exit, you don’t just say fuck it and turn around and drive back home.

You find your way back onto the highway, and you start going in the right direction again!

Give yourself permission to fail.

It’s gonna happen at some point.

And when it does, remember where you are headed.

And then get back on the highway, and keep driving toward your destination.