I remember when I started writing this blog, I thought to myself, I will really feel successful when I get a comment from someone who isn’t a friend. Or a relative.
And then it happened. A comment from someone I had never met.
It was exciting! A rush. It felt good.
Three and a half years later, I get comments from hundreds and thousands of people.
Literally from all over the world.
I never really thought that would happen back in the beginning.
Having comments from readers in Canada and Ireland and Australia and New Zealand and the Phillipines and Italy and even Africa!
That’s crazy to me.
Most of the comments I get are supportive.
There are some that disagree with something I’ve written or said, but they are respectful.
And then there are the comments I never anticipated.
The really mean ones.
Like REALLY mean ones.
I’m used to them now, for the most part. I usually have enough control and restraint to ignore them.
Sometimes I just delete them altogether.
When someone tells me I must have had a really shitty teacher. or that I’m an asshole, or a bitch, or I’m an awful mom or that I’m fat, or that I’m a liar or basically a thief (yes, I’ve received all of those comments, many of them multiple times) well, I can handle it fairly well now.
Every once in a while, though, I let one get under my skin.
And I attack back.
Someday, I hope to be more evolved than that. Someday I hope to let every single one of those comments roll right off my back.
That’s why very often I don’t reply to comments.
Because many times I don’t read them. Some days I know I’m in no state of mind to deal with them. Some days I know I will say something that I regret because I’m exhausted or stressed out or I just had a fight with my husband or the kids have pushed my last button. Forty seven times.
But no matter how evolved I become, one thing will still always perplex and confuse me.
I get that I put myself out there, and in doing so, I open myself up to criticism.
And I get that I’m outspoken. I get that I piss a lot of people off. I get that I say fuck a lot and some people don’t like it.
But what I don’t get is that people feel the need to tell me how awful or horrible I am before they unlike my page or read one more word of something I’ve written.
Last week I got a message from a woman telling me how filthy I was. How she had to unlike my page for fear her grandchildren would discover my abusive language on her computer.
I know I said fuck.
But I didn’t attack anyone. I didn’t call anyone a name. I wasn’t picking on anyone.
So I thought it was kind of ironic.
This lady was implying she was so much better than me because I used a couple swears when she was being flat out mean. When she was unable to follow the if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all rule.
I’d be more concerned about my grandchildren receiving that message.
Again, I get that I’m not for everyone.
But if you are here, well, YOU CAME HERE.
I did not force my way onto your computer or your phone or your iPad.
If you don’t like what you are reading, well…
JUST STOP READING.
It’s as easy as one, two, three.
Actually, it’s easier than that.
One tiny click, and POOF!
So really, it’s as easy as one. You can skip the whole two and three thing.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
There are plenty of people around town I don’t like.
Some of them I actually see in person.
But I don’t walk up to them and announce, I DON’T LIKE YOU! AND BEFORE I MAKE SURE THAT I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU EVER, I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE I TELL YOU IN PERSON THAT I WILL NOT EVER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU IN PERSON!!!
What the fuck?
When there is a song on the radio that I don’t love, I don’t call the radio station and say, YOUR RADIO STATION SUCKS! I WAS LISTENING TO ONE OF YOUR SONGS AND IT WAS SO FILTHY AND OFFENSIVE THAT I HAD TO WORRY ABOUT MY CHILDREN’S WELL BEING AND SAFETY, AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE I TELL YOU THAT I WILL NEVER LISTEN TO YOUR STATION AGAIN!!!
You know what I do instead?
I just change the fucking station.
When I am watching a show on TV and I don’t care for it, I don’t log on to the networks website and leave a comment saying, THAT SHOW IS THE WORST SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU BEFORE I STOP WATCHING FOREVER THAT I AM GOING TO STOP WATCHING FOREVER!!!
You know what I do instead?
I just just change the fucking channel.
Why don’t you just do the same?
Because telling me how awful I am, and that you feel sorry for my children or that they should be taken away from me, especially when you have never met me and when there is a very good chance you know absolutely nothing about me and have only read the one post that you found so offensive in the first place, well, that doesn’t make you better than me.
Which is your implication.
It actually makes you worse.
And if you can’t at least give me that respect, then you don’t need to tell me I’m not welcome in your world.
Because you aren’t welcome in mine.