I remember when I started writing this blog, I thought to myself, I will really feel successful when I get a comment from someone who isn’t a friend. Or a relative.
And then it happened. A comment from someone I had never met.
It was exciting! A rush. It felt good.
Three and a half years later, I get comments from hundreds and thousands of people.
Literally from all over the world.
I never really thought that would happen back in the beginning.
Having comments from readers in Canada and Ireland and Australia and New Zealand and the Phillipines and Italy and even Africa!
That’s crazy to me.
Most of the comments I get are supportive.
There are some that disagree with something I’ve written or said, but they are respectful.
And then there are the comments I never anticipated.
The really mean ones.
Like REALLY mean ones.
I’m used to them now, for the most part. I usually have enough control and restraint to ignore them.
Sometimes I just delete them altogether.
When someone tells me I must have had a really shitty teacher. or that I’m an asshole, or a bitch, or I’m an awful mom or that I’m fat, or that I’m a liar or basically a thief (yes, I’ve received all of those comments, many of them multiple times) well, I can handle it fairly well now.
Every once in a while, though, I let one get under my skin.
And I attack back.
Someday, I hope to be more evolved than that. Someday I hope to let every single one of those comments roll right off my back.
That’s why very often I don’t reply to comments.
Because many times I don’t read them. Some days I know I’m in no state of mind to deal with them. Some days I know I will say something that I regret because I’m exhausted or stressed out or I just had a fight with my husband or the kids have pushed my last button. Forty seven times.
But no matter how evolved I become, one thing will still always perplex and confuse me.
I get that I put myself out there, and in doing so, I open myself up to criticism.
And I get that I’m outspoken. I get that I piss a lot of people off. I get that I say fuck a lot and some people don’t like it.
But what I don’t get is that people feel the need to tell me how awful or horrible I am before they unlike my page or read one more word of something I’ve written.
Last week I got a message from a woman telling me how filthy I was. How she had to unlike my page for fear her grandchildren would discover my abusive language on her computer.
I know I said fuck.
But I didn’t attack anyone. I didn’t call anyone a name. I wasn’t picking on anyone.
So I thought it was kind of ironic.
This lady was implying she was so much better than me because I used a couple swears when she was being flat out mean. When she was unable to follow the if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all rule.
I’d be more concerned about my grandchildren receiving that message.
Again, I get that I’m not for everyone.
But if you are here, well, YOU CAME HERE.
I did not force my way onto your computer or your phone or your iPad.
If you don’t like what you are reading, well…
JUST STOP READING.
It’s as easy as one, two, three.
Actually, it’s easier than that.
One tiny click, and POOF!
So really, it’s as easy as one. You can skip the whole two and three thing.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
There are plenty of people around town I don’t like.
Some of them I actually see in person.
But I don’t walk up to them and announce, I DON’T LIKE YOU! AND BEFORE I MAKE SURE THAT I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU EVER, I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE I TELL YOU IN PERSON THAT I WILL NOT EVER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU IN PERSON!!!
What the fuck?
When there is a song on the radio that I don’t love, I don’t call the radio station and say, YOUR RADIO STATION SUCKS! I WAS LISTENING TO ONE OF YOUR SONGS AND IT WAS SO FILTHY AND OFFENSIVE THAT I HAD TO WORRY ABOUT MY CHILDREN’S WELL BEING AND SAFETY, AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE I TELL YOU THAT I WILL NEVER LISTEN TO YOUR STATION AGAIN!!!
You know what I do instead?
I just change the fucking station.
When I am watching a show on TV and I don’t care for it, I don’t log on to the networks website and leave a comment saying, THAT SHOW IS THE WORST SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU BEFORE I STOP WATCHING FOREVER THAT I AM GOING TO STOP WATCHING FOREVER!!!
You know what I do instead?
I just just change the fucking channel.
Why don’t you just do the same?
Because telling me how awful I am, and that you feel sorry for my children or that they should be taken away from me, especially when you have never met me and when there is a very good chance you know absolutely nothing about me and have only read the one post that you found so offensive in the first place, well, that doesn’t make you better than me.
Which is your implication.
It actually makes you worse.
And if you can’t at least give me that respect, then you don’t need to tell me I’m not welcome in your world.
Because you aren’t welcome in mine.
I have never understood people that literally go out of their way to be mean to others. You see it so much on social media – it makes me so sad. The world needs more kindness. Thank you for your blog! I love it. From another New Zealand fan 🙂
Lisa lisa says
I am inspired by you! I am also in awe of you. You’re amazing…..keep being you.
I am going through a very trying situation at home and at times the only high light of my day is reading your blog.
Think of all the good you may be doing though. We never know how reading someone’s blog, being a mom, a friend, a teacher.. even just smiling at a stranger..,can change someone’s day/life. So I suppose for all the disrespectful comments you get think of the people you’ve helped.
Carrie Willard says
People have a REAL tough time dealing with those who speak their truth, especially if they’ve been oppressing theirs their whole life.
I often laugh out loud like a dope when I read your blog, prompting a kid to ask mom what’s so funny!? So I then read an edited version to them so they can laugh too.
My kids are all grown…4 of them..and 1st grandchild…you speak it like I always have..I enjoy your blog..and get great laughs I share with my husband and kids..it really takes us back and have been remembering things with humor…KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!!
I get you, enjoy you, and so often you make my day! This was right on! YOU ROCK!
Yes. Yes. Yes. Keep doing what you do. Eff the mean ones.
I feel the exactly same way. I really, really, really love the internet and all the information and opportunities that it provides, but one thing that i really dislike is the fact that people can say whatever they want to say without consequence. And by consequence, I mean seeing the face of the person you’re saying that mean thing to and feeling bad about it. There’s none of that, so it continues to proliferate. Keep your head up and keep going!
Alison Dennison says
Well done! As another granny, I don’t always agree with what you say, but I thoroughly enjoy reading what you say and look forward to each new post, so whether I agree or not is irrelevant……
….and there’s no reason or way for my grandchildren to read anything on my tablet that I’m not keeping a very close eye on!
Keep going, lass
See that’s the thing about the internet: I think they feel some kind of power by being able to make those comments and ThEN click the x knowing more than likely you don’t know who or where there are and therefore won’t be able to go kick their ass. It’s just way too easy to do and people aren’t held accountable for it. That being said, they are ridiculous (and need to stop) and I love you. You rock!
Kerry Hanley says
It’s cyber bullying! It makes people feel better about themselves, somehow!! It makes no sense to me.
I wouldn’t call it cyber bullying. I really believe people have taken the term bullying to another level in 2015! I would call it internet ignorance. It’s typically someone who is bored, unhappy, or down right ignorant to come on someone else blog and spew hatred and verbal filth. As I assume 99% of her reader are “grown”, I would simply ignore them. When you ignore foolishness, it tends to go find someone else to stir the pot with in an effort to gain attention.
Just my $0.02
What annoys me is your hypocrisy. You are quick to call others on their meanness but you don’t own up to the meanness of yourself and your band of supporters.
not your average mom says
Give me an example, Mei, of the time(s) I attacked someone I didn’t know out of nowhere, someone who had absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever, and I will gladly take responsibility for it.
The definition of mean is unkind or cruel. The dictionary says nothing about knowing or not knowing the person to whom the meanness is directed. You are trying to redefine the word so that you don’t have to face the fact that you are sometimes mean.
not your average mom says
I’m not sure you understood my post. But thanks for calling me a mean hypocrite!
Kerry Hanley says
If Susie and her “band of supporters’ (me included) annoy you, why do you keep reading? Do you like to be annoyed??
Maria morillo says
HI, NOT-YOUR-AVERAGE-MOM. I´M MARIA FROM VENEZUELA, NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BECOMMING A MOM, JUST STARTED TO READ YOUR BLOG ABOUT A MONTH AGO AND I JUST LOVE IT, SPECIALLY NUMBER 4’S STORIES. KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DO, MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, HOPE TO KEEP READING YOUR POST, I HAVE LIKE 100 POSTS TO READ YET BUT THAT’S EXCITING. 🙂
Kerry Hanley says
Well put, Mama.
I like to call those people “internet gangsters” for lack of a better name for them. The reality of it is that they would likely not EVER dare say something harsh & mean to your face, so why do it on the internet? Because they feel they are safe and you’d never know who they were to confront about their ridiculous comments. Ignoring them is the best because you aren’t giving their ignorance life on your blogs. Pray for them and keep it moving!
Julie Belanger says
Well, all I can say is, I’m super fucking glad I joined this party. ❌⭕️❌⭕️