You Are One Decision Away From Everything

Today was one of those days where nothing went the way I thought it was going to go when the day began. When I first started writing this post I listed all the things that went much differently than I had originally anticipated. But it was boring and confusing, and really the details aren’t all that important. It has been quite a day, though. A day full of miscommunications and delays and more miscommunications and changes in plans and kids doing dumb stuff that affected what I could and couldn’t get done. And you know what I did? Well, yesterday I bought a three pack of Cap’n Crunch at Costco. I haven’t bought Cap’n Crunch in ages. Like possibly since college. I don’t buy tons of cereal. We usually have one or maybe if I’m feeling really crazy, two kinds of cereal in the house at one time. I usually let the kids have it for desert if they want it. We eat an early dinner before practice, and when they get home, they can eat a bowl of cereal. That’s not really important to the post, but whatever. When I got home from swim practice today, Number 6 and 7 apparently ate an entire box of Cap’n Crunch. The peanut butter one. I don’t blame them. That stuff is like crack. Oh, and olives. There were olives left out on the table. So my youngest two ate peanut butter Cap’n Crunch and black olives for lunch which is basically a Fear Factor lunch challenge as far as I’m concerned. Anyway, there was one empty box of Cap’n Crunch on the dining room table, one half eaten box, and one unopened box. And after my day of nothing going how I’d planned which resulted in 1) me not being prepared for many things including decent food options and 2) not getting any of the work I’d planned on finishing even started, I walked in the door, saw the Cap’n Crunch boxes on the table, and proceeded to eat from them like I was going to the electric chair. I shoveled that shit from my hand to my mouth like my life depended on it. And then I poured a bunch in a (big) bowl and sat down in front of my computer and ate it while I got started on some of the work I hadn’t gotten to yet. You know what I did when I polished off that bowl? I ate another one. Not with milk. And not with a spoon. I just shoveled that sh*t directly into my mouth with my hand. About ten minutes later I wasn’t feeling so great. The good news is I have been putting some good food into my body recently, and it did not respond well to the Cap’n Crunch. At all. The other good news is that I stopped and thought about what I was doing. I was directly responding to stress with food. It is in these moments that decisions can be made. You can decide to say fuck it and go farther and farther in a direction you don’t really want to be going. Or you can choose to do something immediately. And that’s what I did. I put the box of cereal away where I wouldn’t see it. I didn’t eat anything else until a couple hours later when I was truly hungry. I sautéed some kale and chick peas, made some cilantro-lime quinoa, sliced an avocado, and made myself a Buddha bowl (recipe coming soon). I am not where I want to be in the eating department. I still use food to buffer what is going on in my life. But I can rein myself in much earlier than I used to. Even in the middle of the day! I never would have done this even a year ago. I would have continued the bender for days. So I am making learning and I’m growing. And I’m one decision closer to where I ultimately want to be.

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