The If my kid is being an asshole I want you to tell me post is the gift that keeps on giving.
After I wrote the follow up post to that, I received this comment:
First of all, how could you (an adult) call your kid an asshole to begin with? The child copies you in the way you act and the words that come out of your mouth! The way you express yourself and how you handle things your child will mimic you. I would suggest maybe using less offensive words to describe your childs wrong doings and dicipline them in a matter thats effective but not derogatory. and if parents only diciplined themselves to be better examples on how to react to situations i believe the child will have more respect for you, themselves, and the world.
I was also told there is an article about not calling your child an asshole, written by a child psychologist who has seen the damage that it can cause, floating around Facebook. I tried to find it, but I couldn’t.
I have never called my kids assholes to their faces.
I wouldn’t say I condone that.
In fact, I have been pretty successful with controlling my potty mouth in front of the kids.
But behind their backs?
When I am talking to other grown ups?
That’s a whole different story.
I suppose when I am talking to my friends or when I am writing a post intended for adults I could say something like, “Wow. Today my kids really challenged my parenting skills.”
Perhaps I could say, “The kids really gave me a run for my money today.”
Or “Yikes! My kids were little stinkers today!”
But I’m sorry.
When your 4-year-old takes your brand new phone, whips it out the car window and smashes it on the driveway less than 24 hours after you got it, when you find out your teenager has been flat out lying to you for weeks, when your three-year-old flushes a pair of scissors down the toilet, when two of your children won’t stop attempting to beat the living shit out of each other,
Today my parenting skills were really challenged just doesn’t cut it.
Not for me anyway.
And it doesn’t really have to be a major disaster to push me to my kid’s being an asshole status.
Some days the driving and the whining and the scheduling and the complaining and the monotony and the exhaustion are enough to just push a person over the edge.
I love my kids more than anything.
I do my best to teach them respect and responsibility and self control.
But just because I gave birth to them doesn’t mean that they don’t drive me completely crazy and piss me off. A lot.
But not always.
My kids are often sweet. Kind. Gentle. Cooperative. Bold. Courageous.
They are leaders. All stars.
And on those days, I will refer to them as such.
But on the days when they appear to be on a mission to either send me to the loony bin or kill me?
Well… then I will vent. As I have in the past.
Just not to them. That might be damaging.
But here? It’s therapeutic. Cathartic. And oftentimes necessary.
So from time to time I may refer to them as pains in the ass. Or little f*ckers.
And yes, when the situation warrants it,
as it often does,
there will definitely be times that also I refer to them as complete and total assholes.
Omg!!! This is perfect after my day today!!! I love my kids (3 – 2 boys 8 and 6 and a girl 9mths) with all my heart but today I thought I was going to lose my mind! And I was sure that is what my number 2 wanted to happen! He did everything in his power to annoy the crap out of me! Thank you for this post! I was feeling bad thinking my kid was acting like a jerk today! He can be sweet but not today!
Jeanne Hoffman says
No stranger to profanity, would you be upset by this?
Absolutely 100% accurate of how I feel about my kids. I’ve been known to even say my daughter is acting like a bitch today- to myself or other close grown ups but never to her face! Saying she is being a bit persnickety doesn’t cut it when she is just being a bitch.
I referred to my kids as “little f*uckers” a couple times and I justify it as “they’re my kids and I love them to death but sometimes they just get to me…” No one knows how they act with just me bc they never act like that in front of other people. Whether “little f’ers” or “Aholes” they’re mine and I can call them what I want…of course out of love!!!
I think that some people just read your titles and then comment…..
If the person that wrote the comment actually READ (or READS) your blog, she would have figured out everything you posted above already.
(the fact that she spelled discipline wrong made me twitch a bit)
Didnt we have the “calling my kids assholes” conversation already?
Haters GO AWAY!! And let us enjoy ourselves with terribly satisfying bad language!!
Ha! You tell ’em. Anyway, I think MOST people totally got the point and didn’t get our panties in a wad.
I can relate! I find that older generations or people who don’t have children just don’t understand and no matter how you explain it to them, they will never understand.
I’m so glad you wrote this! I got crap from that post when I shared it!
I have these days too.When I can’t wait till their grown.
Been there done that.
It’s not easy with teens fist your their one and only next you embarrass them. Although I love embarrassing them
This is so spot on! I love my kids more than anythng in this world but when they push me close to the edge I have been known to call them assholes, jerks and little f*%&ers!!
I can’t believe the person who wrote that comment actually thought you would call your kids assholes to their face. But the reality is sometimes it happens. Nobody is perfect…kids are as tough as they are lovable…let me tell you I have been so frustrated with my teens that yes a “derogatory” term may slip out…but not often and they’re at the age where they understand that it was probably warranted. If she actually read the blog she would realize you were just venting to an adult audience.
Love it!!! And I completely agree with you!!
I think my husband and I refer to daughter (8) and son (2) as assholes/little fuckers weekly. But to each other.
Hey… no kids here but have to say… wonderful article… you need to vent too… sometimes PC gets in the way of life…
Next one to be an Asshole is going to bed, spitting on your sister is an asshole move, don’t be an asshole.