An interesting thing happened to me a couple days ago.
I got kicked out of a closed Facebook group I recently joined.
I was a little bit shocked. I mean, I’ve never been kicked out of anything.
I will acknowledge that I didn’t follow the rules of the group, although in my defense, I had no idea what they even were.
I just followed the same guidelines I have here on the blog and the FB page.
I said what was on my mind, and I was honest.
I’ve been a member of the group for a little over a month, but I haven’t been involved in it at all. I finally posted something a couple days ago, and that first post was the one that got me booted from the group.
I thought it was funny because I got a lot of positive feedback from other women in the group. A lot.
Thank you for being so real!
I love your honesty!
And then the next day, BAM! I was blocked out.
Apparently posting a link to your blog is a no-no, even though the blog is why I was invited to be a part of the group in the first place.
And so is cursing.
How the hell I got invited to be part of a Facebook group that doesn’t allow cursing is beyond me. They clearly don’t know me very well.
Anyway, since I used “foul language” I was kicked out after someone tattled on me.
And my foul language, by the way, was using the word shitty.
That’s hardly even a swear word.
I keep going back to those ladies who were so appreciative of my honesty and who thanked me.
And I thought about their comments.
I don’t read any other blogs. And I’m not involved in many Facebook pages. But I have been told here on the blog, many, many, many times, that my honesty and openness are refreshing.
I’ve been a little confused by this. I guess there are a lot of blogs out there that are a little deceptive. Or a lot deceptive.
You know, like the Wizard of Oz hiding behind his curtain.
And it just seems so silly to me. Pretending to be perfect. That is so much pressure to put on yourself.
I realize there are women out there who don’t curse. I guess.
I mean, I don’t really know any of them. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t curse at all, to be honest.
Maybe I’m just a potty mouth magnet.
But I don’t think so.
I think there are lots of people who speak one way in private and then pretend to be holier than thou in public.
And that bugs the shit out of me.
I realize there is a time and a place for everything.
But I also realize that no one is perfect.
Not even close.
In fact, in case you didn’t already know, I’m going to let you in on a little secret.
Everyone is fucked up.
We are all fucked up to varying degrees.
But we are all fucked up.
I think the people who appear to be the most perfect of all are the ones who are fucked up the most.
I mean, look at the Duggars for Christ’s sake.
They are a fucking disaster.
And how about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner?
They have it all, right? They are both smart and talented and filthy rich and ridiculously good looking, and…
We are all fucked up.
That couple with the perfect marriage?
It’s not perfect. I guarantee.
That mom who has her shit together?
She does not have all her shit together.
Every person around you has some degree of fuckupedness.
Your teachers, your doctors, your clergyman, your coach, your boss, and even your therapist. Actually, there’s a good chance your therapist is the most fucked up of them all.
When you are at the grocery store the person in line in front of you is fucked up and so is the person behind you. The person ringing up your groceries and the person bagging your groceries are both fucked up. The lady at the bank and the dude at the gas station and the receptionist at the hair salon and the trainer at the gym and the pilot of your airplane are all fucked up.
Michael Phelps, the greatest athlete of all time has two DUI’s.
Bill Clinton blew his load all over an intern while he was President.
Martha Stewart is a criminal.
Tiger Woods fucked like half the female population of the United States.
I’m sure Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz and Judge Judy and all the other people on TV who supposedly have their shit together are all fucked up, too.
Look at Oprah. She has all the money in the world, a major empire, and she cannot get her eating under control. It is a constant battle for her.
Well she was molested as a kid, you might say. She has a reason to be fucked up.
Sure. Some of us have been through some serious shit and are fucked up as a result of that.
But others of us are fucked up without having gone through massive amounts of trauma.
Some of us were born super sensitive or with brains that just had wires crossed or with a seriously addictive personality and we made one dumb decision and that was the end of it for us.
It really doesn’t matter how we got there.
What matters is that the people who think they are the only ones who are fucked up know they are wrong!
We all have our thing.
When you are sitting at your kid’s Open House at school, you are surrounded by drug addicts and gambling addicts and porn addicts and television addicts and food addicts and alcoholics. You are surrounded by people with OCD and anxiety and depression. By people who are bipolar and pathological liars and hypochondriacs and kleptomaniacs. People who have to straighten the fringe on their rugs before they can leave the house or who wash their hands compulsively or who have to count to seven every time they do anything.
The reason why I am open and honest about my experience with mental illness or the imperfections in myself or my marriage or my children or my parenting or my financial situation or my body or whatever, is because carrying that around all the time and trying to cover it up is very tiring.
The Wizard of Oz must have been fucking exhausted.
I think we are afraid that people will think less of us when we admit the truth. That we don’t have it all together. Or maybe we don’t even have any of it together.
Yeah, there will be a couple assholes who judge. But I know there is a very high probability that those are the people who are fucked up exponentially more than I am.
In my experience, when you are open and honest, they think more of you. They respect you. And they feel comfortable around you.
So I’ll continue to be open and honest. It’s cathartic to me.
If I feel like swearing, I’m gonna swear.
And if that gets me kicked out of a Facebook group, eh.
Then that’s not really a group I want to be a part of anyway.
And all those women in that group who welcomed my openness and honesty?
Well, they are welcome over here in my fucked up Facebook group any day.