My cousin Amy’s husband died last Friday.
It was completely unexpected and she was not at all prepared for something like this.
I wouldn’t have been prepared for something like this either.
In an instant, Amy became a single mom to two teenage girls, and she needed to find a new home for the three of them.
I messaged Amy right away and told her I was going to help.
She had a really hard time accepting help initially.
She, like many women, believed asking for help meant she was a failure or weak or whatever story we make up in our heads when we need help.
So I sent her a message, and I thought I’d share it here because I’m pretty sure Amy isn’t the only person who needed to hear it.
Here is what I wrote:
It makes me REALLY happy to be able to help.
I understand your situation 1,000,000%.
I get it. And I’ve had so much help getting to where I am now and I STILL get lots of help.
I still *need* help.
It’s okay to need help and to accept help.
You need to build a big support network so you have the ability to also take care of YOURSELF.
All the people offering to help you become your support network.
The girls need you healthy and you can’t take care of them effectively by yourself.
So remember that asking for and accepting help doesn’t mean you are weak and it DEFINITELY doesn’t mean you are lazy.
You are a hard worker and you’re smart and gorgeous and a fucking badass.
You can be all those things AND need help.
Asking for and accepting help is something you really HAVE to do!!!
It’s in the girls best interest and it doesn’t make you a bad mom.
IT MAKES YOU A REALLY GOOD ONE.
Nobody succeeds alone. We all need help in different seasons of our lives.
If you’re in one of those seasons right now, you aren’t alone.
You’re gonna make it through this.
Until you do, TAKE THE HELP.
You’re a badass.