I am going through some stuff right now.
Some really, really, REALLY hard stuff.
I’m okay, but every part of me is being challenged.
And this will be a figurative marathon really. There is no quick fix, no easy button, no get out of jail free card.
The last few days have been particularly rough.
I have been emotionally tested like never before. And the testing is just getting started. There is a lot of testing on the horizon.
Thursday morning is my therapy day.
For four days I was waiting for 9:00 on Thursday morning.
I just needed to get to that appointment.
My therapist would help me keep things in perspective. She’d let me know if I was off base, and she’d let me know where I was right on.
I just needed to get to that appointment!!!
On Thursday morning I checked my texts after all the kids had gotten on the bus. There was a text from my therapist.
I’m sorry, I can’t meet this week. I’ve had an unexpected death in the family…
Okay, so that sucks way more for my therapist than it sucks for me, but I was like, NOOOOOOOO!
The promise of that appointment was one of the only things that was keeping me going!!!
So I’m trying to look at these things that come up, these inconveniences, these disappointments, these obstacles — these challenges — as opportunities.
Opportunities for growth and opportunities to show myself how tough I am.
But one thing I have learned in the last few years is that I don’t need to fight my way through these things silently and alone.
Sharing these struggles and putting them out there does a couple things.
First, you think people are going to judge you when you share things — the real life, non-Facebook perfect, messy, bullshit parts of your life.
Yeah, there may be a few assholes who sit up on their high horses and let you know how little they think of you.
But you know what happens 99% of the time?
You learn very quickly that you are not alone.
You discover there are people who relate to what you are going through.
And not feeling alone makes a world of difference when you are clawing your way through opportunities.
So I shared what I was going through with some people I trust.
And you know what?
I was immediately surrounded with support and reassurance and other people sharing very similar stories.
And then something else happened.
I have become very good friends with a woman I have never met in person.
I actually “met” her through one of my e-courses. She was a member way back in the early days.
I’m not really sure how we ended up connecting on a more personal level.
But over the course of the last six months, she has become one of the people I trust most in my life.
She is my sounding board and my “redirector” when I get another crazy idea in my head and veer way off course. (That happens multiple times a day).
And about 30 seconds after I read that text from my therapist letting me know she had to cancel my appointment, my phone rang.
It was my friend.
The Universe knew I needed to talk to someone.
And my friend somehow knew I needed to talk to someone.
It was 8:30 in the morning, and she sensed it.
When you put stuff out there and allow yourself to be vulnerable, the Universe sends you what you need.
I don’t have many close friends.
I can count them on one hand.
But I recently saw this on Facebook (from the Sunshine and Hurricanes Facebook page):
I have found four quarters.
There is nothing like a handful of women who have your back. Who know you. Who get you. Who carry you when you need to be carried.
It has taken me a while to find these quarters.
And boy am I thankful for them.
I’ve got some shit to make my way through.
As long as I keep my four quarters in my pocket, continue to appreciate the opportunities life presents me with, and keep letting the Universe know what I need,
I think I’m gonna be okay.