Three Years

Today is my three year anniversary.

Three years alcohol-free.

I was never a daily drinker or even really a weekly drinker.

I could go a month without drinking and not really think much about it.

Well, in the winter anyway.

Drinking in the summer was a little more frequent.

There were barbecues and days by the pool and holidays and parties and vacations and more daylight.

Even still, I never drank daily. I didn’t drink alone. I didn’t drink during the day. I didn’t get a DUI. Nobody gave me an ultimatum.

I did drink to excess though. Almost every time I drank.

I didn’t want to give it up, but I knew it was time to stop.

Three years ago today I had a grown up moment where I finally accepted that alcohol wasn’t adding one single positive thing to my life.

So on July 2, 2017, I made the decision to stop.

At first it was not easy.

I resented my friends and I resented my brain and I basically resented everyone.

It took me about eighteen months to really get over that.

Now it’s all good.

I can hang out with a crowd of drinking people and it doesn’t bother me.

Now my problem isn’t that I envy people who are drinking.

Now the problem is that I just don’t really care for that scene anymore.

My body and my brain don’t like the late nights.

And what I realized the other day is that the mom’s nights out I really enjoy the most are usually mornings, and they occur with other people who are taking care of their bodies.

That doesn’t sound sexy or appealing to most people.

It’s not really what my old crowd would consider cool.

But to me it is.

The other morning I swam for the first time in months at the Y.

It was 6 am.

It was me and five other people. One of them was a guy I used to coach with. I had such a nice time catching up with him and just being around other people who have similar priorities.

It was a refreshing break from being home with the kids all day and all night. And all week. And all month. And the month before that. And the month before that.

So three years later, that’s where I am.

I honestly never thought I’d be here.

Early nights and early mornings, breaking a sweat and pushing myself physically… those things are all are my idea of a great time.

Sincerely.

And honestly, being the kid who isn’t cool anymore?

That’s the new cool.

Because being an 80-year-old chick who is still kicking ass and doing shit that most people her age can’t even fathom anymore?

That’s the direction I’m headed now.

And that sounds really fucking cool to me.