This Is What I Decided To Do

The kids are with their father this weekend.

This is the stuff I didn’t think I’d be able to handle pre-divorce. It’s why I stayed in an unhealthy marriage for so long.

Because I didn’t think I could survive being away from them for even a couple hours, let alone a whole weekend.

I was listening to an interview with a woman who has 50-50 custody with her ex husband. (My parenting plan is 65-35 – kids are with me 65% of the time). But I didn’t even know how I’d survive that 35%.

Anyway, this woman said something that some people might not have picked up on.

She was describing her parenting arrangement and how she thinks about when the kids are away.

And she said, This is what I decided to do.

It’s a little, subtle thing, but rather than let the circumstance take control of her, she took control of the circumstances.

She made the best of it. She scheduled the time to work for her. She directed the circumstances.

In fact, she said it’s helped her find balance.

You can look at the kids being with their father as totally devastating.

Or you can look at it as an opportunity to take care of yourself, to catch up on work, to spend time with friends, and to do the things that are hard to do when the kids are there and constantly interrupting you.

It’s a bummer to miss out on time with the kids – sometimes a REALLY BIG bummer – but having time alone is one of the things moms want so desperately but can never seem to get.

And so now, a year-and-a-half into my divorce, I don’t dread these weekends anymore.

I look forward to the opportunity to recharge. To do the stuff I used to do before I had kids.

Or just to sit and chill and do whatever I want without being bothered by anyone.

And that’s exactly what I’m gonna do right now.

I’m gonna go walk the dog, take a long bath, and then sit on the comfy couch downstairs and watch whatever the fork I want.

See ya tomorrow!

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