They’re not going to make this easy for me.

Last week I started the search to find my Alice.

I interviewed my first candidate yesterday.

On paper, she seemed perfect.

Mid fifties, mother of two grown girls, used to run a daycare out of her home…

I found her on Sittercity.

We’ve had luck there before.

We’ve also met a couple of winners from that site.

And by winners, I mean total losers.

What you see on paper isn’t always an accurate reflection of what you get in person.

So I wasn’t sure what to expect.

Yesterday we had a snow day.

Numbers 1, 2, and 3 weren’t home.

But Numbers 4, 5, 6, and 7 were.

And they were waiting excitedly and rather impatiently for Alice to arrive.

When they saw her car pull in the driveway, they ran to the front door, jumping up and down and yelling.

Mommy! MOMMY!!! Alice is here! Alice is here! ALICE IS HEEEEEEEEERRE!!!!!

I opened the door.

Perfect on paper.

And seemingly perfect in person.

The kids were not shy.

At all.

We showed her around the house first.

We walked into the playroom.

Within 5 seconds all 4 kids were jumping on the couch.

Alice was horrified.

I said, for what would be the first of approximately 64 times,

No jumping on the couch!

The kids wanted to show Alice their rooms.

They basically dragged her upstairs.

Number 6 and 7 share a room, and they are both still in cribs.

Yes, they are both ready for beds, and have been for a while, but we haven’t had the money to buy new ones, and my husband hasn’t had time to build a bunk bed like we have been wanting to do.

So Number 6 and 7 climb in and out of those things with the skill and finesse of a seasoned parkour practitioner.

They were sure to show Alice their impressive mounts and dismounts.

Alice saw that and let out a slight gasp.

The kids dragged her back downstairs.

Number 6 and 7 proceeded to climb every imaginable piece of furniture they came into contact with.

Alice asked me if I gave timeouts.

Number 6 and 7 started fighting over a couple toys.

Alice told me how she would implement structure.

Number 4 started complaining about how bored she was.

Alice reminded herself that Number 4 would normally be in school.

Alice and I sat down and talked while the little guys sort of played.

Number 5 said to her,

You have yellow teeth.

Alice started talking about Supernanny.

I asked Alice a couple of questions.

Like a ninja, Number 7 slipped out of the room.

When she returned, she looked like this

Alice told me she had 2 other interviews.

And then she left.

Quickly.

So I can’t say for sure,

but I have this funny feeling that I’m still searching for my Alice.

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