When I first became a mom, I put ridiculous amounts of pressure on myself to do everything perfectly.
And by “do”, I mean I had to do the most original Christmas card of everyone I knew.
I had to do the best mural ever to be painted in any kid’s room.
Whatever it was, it had to be cute and original and beautiful.
It didn’t take too long for me to realize that I wasn’t really doing any of this for my kids.
I mean, I guess I was, partly. But I was also feeling the need to impress other people.
And I wasn’t really enjoying myself.
What I was really doing was trying to outdo all the other moms.
Or at least keep up with them.
By the time I got to the third kid, I realized it was all really fucking stupid.
For me, anyway.
Trying to have the perfect Easter eggs and the perfect Christmas cookies did nothing to enhance the holiday experience for my kids.
Then I started learning that people were doing other things that I had no idea were even things.
Like building leprechaun traps.
What the hell? Where did this come from?
I did not have time to build fucking leprechaun traps…
Tonight I received a message from someone who attended a Valentine’s Day party for her kids today.
There were a couple moms in that class who “did” some amazing valentines.
And this mom was feeling, in her words, put to shame.
I get it.
Five kids ago, I would have felt the same way. I would have felt inferior and like a failure.
Like I should have done more.
I would have vowed that the following year, my valentines would blow away all the other valentines in the class.
But now I know better.
Before I go any further, this is not a bashfest for Pinterest moms who like to make super cute and original and crafty things like this just because they really enjoy making things like this.
If that’s your thing, and you really enjoy doing it, go for it.
But please, please, PLEASE do not go to these lengths because you feel you are obligated to.
Because you know what?
The people who really notice the cuteness and originality of those handmade Valentine’s Day crafts that took a week to assemble aren’t your kids.
It’s the other parents.
And I know this because my kids would not even get the little play on words with the shovel and the I dig you, would rip that shit open, and devour the m&ms in about fourteen seconds.
And then they’d be equally as excited by the crappy Skittles valentine they got from the next kid.
Which is exactly what every kid will be getting from Number 5 tomorrow at her class party.
Because I totally forgot about Valentine’s Day for the kids, and Number 5 came home from school today with a list of names and said, “MOMMY! MY PARTY IS TOMORROW AND WE DON’T HAVE ANY VALENTINES!!!”
Shit.
So on the way to swim practice, we stopped at Rite Aid (along with about fifty other parents who were doing the last minute valentine scramble) where I ran in and got a box of 25 Skittle valentines.
And I dropped Number 5, 6, and 7 in the babysitting room before going out onto the pool deck, asked one of the girls who worked in there if she wouldn’t mind showing Number 5 where to write the names of the kids in her class if she needed help, and that was that.
Done.
When practice was over, Number 5 had all of her crappy valentines filled out, and she was super proud of herself.
Works for me.
But even if I hadn’t forgotten about Valentine’s Day at school, I would have done the same thing.
It took me a couple of kids to realize that twenty-two hand knitted hearts infused with the tears from Cupid himself just ain’t my thing.
And if it’s just not your thing either, that’s okay.
Air Heads and Skittles or pencils or stickers or even, gasp, a plain old card are just fine.
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I so needed this post! I bought my 3 boys boxed Valentines from the store without treats (GASP!) They wrote their names and never once complained or even noticed about not having a treat or anything else to go with it. They were just happy to have leftover Valentines of sharks, puppies and NBA players to give to Grandpa & Grandma and one to keep for themselves. If they are okay with it, then so am I. Even if it means disapproval from other Mom’s.
I bought 2 boxes of crappyvalentines last month so I would have them. Then my #1 went to cfill them out he couldn’t write on them, me either. So I went to the dollar store bought some stic and foam hearts and he had a blast making them for his friends. It took some convincing to decorate the ones for kids who aren’t his friends but at a little push back heembraced it and had a lot of fun. He was so proud of himself.
I just went to Rite Aid last night for the Valentine’s party that is today….and I’m the teacher. 😉
My kids decided to do their own valentine’s cards. My #1 printed off a picture from the Internet for each kid in her class that she thought they would appreciate and made it into a card. She then scoured our pencil collection and found enough new pencils to attach to every card as a gift. My #2 decided to hand draw every card for her classmates, it took her a week, but last night she proudly showed me her work. ..I was super proud of both of them!
Love this! I’ve done everything. Super handmade ones, store bought ones and it’s all good! Seriously. I don’t think anyone should ever feel bad for anything like that. This year we did end up making them (I like to get crafty and it is the few times I can with my boys) but last year they did it all on their own, wrote them, did stickers and called it good. Whatever works!
Thank you for this!! I made it about one year on my first child before I came to this.
I remember a while ago, you talking about how when you first got married, you made sure #1 and #2 were in matching top and bottom PJ’s and now your like great you have pjs on good enough.
My son is 2 and a half, and we just had a baby and one of the things I let go was picking out his clothes. Shockingly the mornings are soo much easier now lol, because at night he picks out whatever he wants to wear. Life is easier, when you let, trying to outdo other moms go.
Oh and light up shoes, I gave in to light up shoes because, he LOVES them, and he puts his own shoes on.
The cute Sperry’s he got for Christmas will never come out of the box! lol