Yesterday I lost it on the kids a little bit.

They deserved it.

But I felt bad about the way I handled the situation later.

And when it comes down to it, their behavior isn’t really their fault.

It’s mine.

Because while I know they are capable of behaving better, they aren’t.

And when they aren’t behaving better on a consistent basis and I continue to get angry about it but don’t change the way I am parenting them, the problem doesn’t really lie with them.

I know what I’m doing wrong.

It’s very simple.

I’m not available for them when they get home from school.

That’s it.

That’s all it boils down to.

It’s not that I need to be doing something in particular with them when they get home.

But I need to be available.

I need to be showered and dressed and prepared and organized for practice and dinner before they walk in the door and I need to be physically in the same room and making eye contact after they walk in the door.

I need to be present for them. Not for hours on end.

But I need to be fully accessible when they walk in the door.

And I haven’t been.

So that’s step one.

Gotta go.

Only 32 minutes until Number 3 and 4 get home and I still haven’t showered.