First Kid:
Before this one is even born, you have purchased the World’s Cutest Halloween Costume.
The First Kid is going to be a pumpkin or a pea in a pod or something equally and nauseatingly adorable.
On Halloween night, you pack your kid in the car and drive to the house of every single person you know and proudly display your little pumpkin for all your friends to see.
Second Kid:
The Second Kid will most likely wear the super cute costume you’ve been saving since the First Kid wore it on Halloween.
The First Kid will get a new, really awesome, Pinterest-inspired costume.
Although there is a 49% chance you will have a family themed costume and dress as the Wizard of Oz cast or S’mores or something else super creative and annoying.
Third Kid:
You left that really cute First Kid pumpkin costume in your dress up box, and the kids totally destroyed it.
But it doesn’t matter, because by this point, you have realized that dragging a baby out trick-or-treating is really fucking stupid.
So you stay home with the Third Kid while your spouse takes the other two out trick-or-treating.
You spent days looking at Pinterest for the perfect costume for The First and Second Kid.
You started collecting materials.
But then you go to Costco with the kids and they see all the costumes on display, and they beg and beg and beg.
Screw the Pinterest costumes.
You buy the Costco costumes and you’re done with it.
Fourth Kid:
The baby stays home.
The Third Kid has decided on a costume in September, but then when Halloween rolls around, she refuses to even put it on.
It will be dark and you don’t really give a shit anymore. She wears her winter jacket and carries around a plastic pumpkin.
By this point, you have reached the Princess and Superhero phases for the First and Second Kid.
And you have also realized that your kid can actually squeeze into these costumes for like the next four years.
So one kid will be Spiderman and the other one will be Elsa.
Until 2016.
Fifth Kid:
If you make it to this kid, you now officially fucking hate Halloween.
You are the MacGyver of costume design and can make a decent looking pirate outfit in under seven minutes using a brick of charcoal and a paper clip.
Your kids trick-or-treat with a plastic shopping bag and dress as zombies.
Or they just wear their baseball uniforms.
And in the end, it really doesn’t matter.
Because whether they are a to-scale replica of the Empire State Building or a baseball playing zombie, it’s really only about the candy.
And they’re gonna get that no matter what costume they wear 😉
You’re doing better than me, I’d have to say. My second kid, at six months, I dressed her in a black onsie and black pants and taped a piece of paper with “Sunday” written in sharpie across her chest. She was Black Sabbath. Took me all of a minute and a half. Halloween. Check.
So disappointed that I didn’t think of baseball playing zombie. Mine just go as your garden variety zombies. I kinda feel like a failure… I’ll just pilfer one of my kids’ Reeses cups to make me feel better.
Well, you’re all set for next year’s costume 😀
Ha ha ha! My parents did the opposite…with us five kids, we pretty much literally dressed up as “clowns” for almost every Halloween nights. I guess we all entered preteen years and pouted that we hated being clowns. So we were given a choice: we make costumes on our own. We were never allowed to buy….go figure!
Now having two kids, I despised looking for new costumes. I know costumes are worn once and that was it. Ugh. So my son, who have a big dream of becoming a police officer like his daddy, got his wish to dress up in his police uniform and he wore it EVERY SINGLE DAY, even on Halloween, even after the holiday! He gets about arresting his toy bears, dolls, and his daddy. I think he will wear that until he won’t fit in it anymore. So, what did I do with my toddler? She wore black pants, black and white strips with cute already sewn in pink flower from Target, painted robber mask and was told to follow her brother all over the neighborhood for trick and treating and at the church party. Nothing went wasted! 🙂
Next year if your kids complained they wanted this or that halloween costumes, tell them to make one for themselves! 🙂 Problem solved!
Number 3 pretty much made his zombie costume. I’d love to go all out and make something amazing, but I just don’t have it in me right now.