I’ve said a lot of things I never dreamed I would say since becoming a parent.
You know, like
We do not smell each other’s butts.
Why is there a tampon in the Christmas tree?
Is that poop on the refrigerator?
But yesterday I said something that I never in a million years imagined would come out of my mouth.
Two and a half years ago,
when I gave birth to my little baby girl,
and looked down at her sweet little face,
and I envisioned all the fun things we would do together,
and all the mother daughter conversations we would share,
I never dreamed that one of them would begin with the sentence:
You don’t try to put golf balls in your vagina.
“No parkour in the bathtub!”
“You may not grab each other’s penises!”
“You may not pee on your brother!”
“You may not pee in the front yard!”
In the things that I never anticipated saying to *my* seven children, I’m sensing a theme.
Yours is very funny, though. I mean, why? Why is a question I ask myself frequently.
hahahahahahaha yup, that’s the winner right there!
Irene C. says
That is a good one. I never thought I would say the following to my twins:
“You don’t stuff pancakes in your ear.”
“The toilet brush is not a princess wand.”
Mine was, “Please don’t put stickers on the cat.” That was funny. But, golf balls, where? That’s hilarious! We love you in tie house!! Please keep writing!
That is hilarious! One of my favorite conversations with my girls was explaining to them that they could not, one day, marry each other.