Say cheese.

When I was a kid, we had this dresser in the hallway at the top of the stairs.

The top drawer was full of pictures.

Just loose snapshots.

Every once in a while, I would pull out the drawer, sit on the floor, and look at them.

I loved looking at those pictures, especially the ones of  my brother and me with my parents when they were young…

Last night I ran in a 5K race here in town.

There were 6 ladies from my Fit, Fierce and Fabulous e-course who ran in the race too.

I grabbed all of them to take a group picture when the race was over.

Nobody really knows this, but that’s kind of a big deal for me.

I haven’t willingly taken a picture in a long time.

A long time.

For the last 8 years, I’ve been hiding.

Feeling so self-conscious and embarrassed by the way I had let myself go that I rarely let anyone document me in a photo.

After the race I went out for drinks with some of the ladies.

I let someone else take another picture.

That’s me and CCB.

Isn’t she so cute?

She ran in the race too.

And went home and showered before coming out. No fair.

But after this picture was taken,

I started thinking about the fact that in the last week,

I have allowed more pictures of myself to be taken than I have in the last 8 years.

I showed you this one last week:

(And I know I need to get some new clothes).

Anyway,

after thinking about this,

I had a bit of a moment.

And a sad realization.

There are almost no pictures of me with any of the kids.

Like,

none.

They have no drawer full of pictures.

And as I told this to the ladies,

I started bawling.

I only had one Straw-ber-rita in me at the time, so it wasn’t alcohol induced.

By the way,

those mothereffers are dangerous.

This journey I’ve been on since January,

to lose weight,

and get fit,

has been so eye-opening.

It’s not really even about the weight anymore.

So many changes.

And another one of those starts today.

It’s time to take some pictures.

I’ve got a drawer to fill up.

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