9:24 a.m. Hit the road.
9:25 a.m. Number 4: I AM SO EXCITED!
9:30 a.m. Number 5: How much longer until we are there?
10:35 a.m. Number 4: A Georgia license plate!
Did you know that Georgia produces 40% of the chicken in the United States?
10:36 a.m. Look at my husband: Um, what?
11:00 a.m. Me to my husband: The kids are being really good.
11:01 a.m. Number 5: He threw a piece of his skin on me!
11:02 a.m. Number 6, singing: Number 5 is dumb, and she’s not pretty. Number 5 is dumb, and she’s not prettyyyyy.
11:30 a.m. Number 4: Did you know there are over 3000 different kinds of potatoes?
11:40 a.m. Number 4: A Delaware license plate! Did you know that more people live in Connecticut than in Delaware?
Um, never really thought about it.
12:15 p.m. Stop at rest area to pee and eat lunch.
12:35 p.m. Finish peeing, washing hands, and touching every possible surface in a public rest room.
12:40 p.m. Sit down to eat lunch.
12:50 p.m. Leave Number 5, 6, and 7 with my husband and take Number 4 back to car to get her water bottle.
1:00 p.m. Return from car. See Number 7 chewing on something. “What are those?” I ask. “Did you get a toy with your lunch?”
“No, they aw eawplugs. I found them on the gwound.”
“OH MY GOD. GET THOSE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!”
1:05 p.m. Number 5: I have to go potty again.
1:20 p.m. Finish peeing, washing hands and touching every possible surface in a public rest room.
1:25 p.m. Get back on road.
1:30 p.m. Number 7: I have to go potty.
Me: You just went potty.
Number 7: I HAVE TO GO POOP.
1:37 p.m. Stop at world’s most disgusting gas station and take Number 7 to poop.
“I was just kidding. I don’t have to poop.”
1:40 p.m. Clench teeth and get back in car.
2:45 p.m. Remark how there has been no traffic at all.
2:48 p.m. Hit world’s largest traffic jam.
2:50 p.m. Number 5: How much longer until we get there?
3:00 p.m. Number 7: I HAVE TO POOOOOOP. I mean it this time. I weally have to.
3:30 p.m. Pull out of traffic jam. Poop. Pull back into traffic jam.
4:30 p.m. Have moved approximately 7 inches in an hour.
Number 7: AW WE GOING BACKWAHDS???
Me: No, but it totally feels like it, doesn’t it?
7:30 p.m. Finally make it to hotel to stop for the night. Know that kids will sleep late because they are so exhausted. Pass out.
5fucking30 a.m. the next day: MOM? IS IT TIME TO WAKE UP AND GO TO THE BEACH TODAY?
7:00 a.m. Head downstairs to eat breakfast.
Mommy! You mean we come sleep here and then they GIVE US FOOD?
7:30 a.m. Touch every piece of food on every tray. Spill one cup of orange juice and one bowl of cereal on floor. One nice lady comments on how beautiful the children are. One cranky bitch just gives them all the stink eye.
9:00 a.m. Back on the road.
9:10 a.m. Are we almost there?
9:40 a.m. Are we almost there?
10:00 a.m. THIS IS TAKING FOREVER! WHEN ARE WE GOING TO BE THERE???
10:44 a.m. Are we almost there?
11:30 a.m. Are we almost there?
12:00 p.m. Are we almost there?
1:00 p.m. How much longer now?
Less than an hour!
1:30 p.m. Are we almost there?
2:00 p.m. Finally arrive, forget all about the drive, quickly unload all the shit from the car, and head to the beach.
Road trips are awesome!
Love this! Especially since we are currently on a road trip ourselves so I can relate!
I have combated the “are we there yet?” question with “does it LOOK like we are there?” shut’s them down every single time.
LOVE the running commentary! Thank you for sharing your family with us! I am really enjoying the pictures. Enjoy every single second of your vacation!
Great post about the realities of traveling with lots of kids. My 6 children and I just went on a 4 day road trip with my mom and I can relate about people giving the stink eye. At breakfast one morning, my kids were being awesome and an alder woman told them/us how great they were behaving. We got done eating and went back up to the room and the kids ran down the hallway and my 3 year old and 5 year old were screaming and fighting. Of course when I caught up to them I told them how it was still only abut 9:30 am and people were still sleeping and they were being rude. Then we found out that the manager was also spending the night and called in a noise complaint to the front desk. Oops.
Hope you all have fun on your road trip!
Have you ever tried making them pee in a large cup in the car (something my sister and I had to do as kids)? Sometimes that teaches them to go when you stop and not waiting until the last minute to tell you they have to go potty, lol. Just a thought. I’m glad you all made it safely. Enjoy your vacay!
Irene C. says
Sounds like our road trip to Chicago last year. When we finally got to our hotel my oldest said, “That was a good trip…nobody threw up.”