In a little less than an hour, anywhere between 10 and 25 people are coming over to my house to hang out by the pool.
Earlier this morning I was sewing the top to my bikini because the stitching on one of the straps came loose.
Number 5 saw me and said, “I don’t think I’m going to wear my bikini because everyone will see my belly.”
Number 5 has a six pack, so I was like… ummmm…
Then she asked me if I was going to wear a bikini.
“I SURE AM!!!” I told her.
I like wearing a bikini.
They are more comfortable than wearing a one piece. For me, anyway.
Plus I like having a tan stomach.
Even if it’s not shredded.
Especially if it’s not shredded.
So here is your who the fuck cares what anyone else thinks reminder.
My body is not in the shape I want it to be in.
But that’s just the way it is.
I’m not going to cover myself up in shame because I’m carrying more weight around my middle than other people.
My house is also a disaster.
There are parts of it that are falling apart, there is a bunch of crap under my deck, walls inside have been torn open to fix leaking pipes and haven’t been replaced.
My house does not look the way I would have it look in a perfect world, either.
But I’m not gonna cover up every part of my house that’s not perfect in a big black tarp.
My house is my house.
If the people coming over today have a problem with what my house looks like, that’s their problem.
And if the people coming over today have a problem with what my body looks like, that is also their problem.
My body is my body.
From some angles it will look different than from others.
Twenty years ago I would have obsessed over that.
If I sit on the steps or the side of the pool, people will see this:
Today when I bend over to pick up something, people will see this.
If I’m hanging under the tent talking to someone not stressing about my posture or trying to suck in my stomach, they’ll see this:
There are plenty of unflattering and less than perfect angles people will see me from today.
And you know what?
I’m totally okay with that.
And hopefully at the end of the day my kids are a lot less critical and a lot more accepting not only other peoples bodies, but of their bodies, too.