Yesterday I wrote a post about dealing with tantrums.
And I received this comment:
“…I’ve never experienced a kid tantruming…”
It’s only part of the comment.
I don’t think it was written by someone who was simply trying to get a rise out of me.
I think it was written by a judgmental mom who thinks she has never made a mistake and has never made a parenting decision she later regretted.
A mom who believes she is faultless.
A mom who felt the need to put me in my place.
And that is the kind of BULLSHIT that seriously pisses me off.
Because moms like that make the rest of us moms,
the new ones, the old ones, the vulnerable ones, the overwhelmed ones, the depressed ones, the anxiety ridden ones, the overweight ones, the underweight ones, the overwhelmed ones, the out of shape ones, the behind-on-the-bills ones, the forgetful ones, the disorganized ones, the habitually late ones, the divorced ones, the unwed ones, the unhappily married ones, the addicted ones, the anxious ones, the bipolar ones,
you know, the honest, normal, and REAL ones, doubt every fucking decision we ever make.
So, pardon my French,
but fuck you.
Actually, don’t pardon my French.
I forgot to add the potty-mouthed ones to my list.
Moms like you are one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place.
Because you are full of shit.
ALL KIDS SUCK SOMETIMES.
ALL PARENTS ARE IMPERFECT.
AND ALL PARENTS FUCK UP.
Yes. Even you, Mother of Children Who Have NEVER Thrown a Tantrum.
So to all the other moms, the moms of imperfect, lying, manipulating, button pushing, infuriating, non-listening, not direction-following, major fucking tantrum throwing, funny, intelligent, beautiful, talented, creative, inspiring, energizing, motivating, loving, caring, bar raising, hard working, achieving and completely amazing children who are doubting your every move, decision and thought,
You are not alone.
You are not a shitty mom.
You are not fucking your kid up permanently.
You are doing the best you can.
You will know more tomorrow than you do today.
You will parent your second and third and fourth kid differently than you parented your first.
All kids throw fucking temper tantrums.
You might have done some things wrong today.
But you also did a whole lot of things right.
You will continue to fuck up.
You will also continue to grow.
Motherhood isn’t about shaming. (Unless you make ridiculous, fantastical, out-of-touch with reality claims in a blog post comment and call me a crappy mom. Then all bets are off.)
Motherhood isn’t about never failing.
Motherhood isn’t a sprint.
Motherhood is a marathon. The ultra of ultra-est marathons. There’s no race to the finish line.
The goal of motherhood isn’t to win it. To perfect it.
Motherhood is never going to be easy. But there are things we can to do make it less fucking hard.
You know, like sharing, supporting, helping, and empathizing with other moms.
That’s what’s happening here.
Normalizing and imperfectifying motherhood, one temper tantrum, one selfless act, one failure, and one success at a time.
All imperfect participants welcome.