For the record, this is my blog.
And if you are here, it is because you chose to be here.
Not because I forced myself upon you.
So I suppose it is as though I have extended an open invitation to a party I’m hosting.
And you have decided to stop by.
You are all welcome.
So long as you are respectful.
But again, this is my blog.
And while I realize that I invite criticism and personal attacks by putting all my stuff out there, this is still my space.
My house. My party.
And I make the rules.
If you came to my house and were disrespectful, rude, and just plain mean, I would ask you to leave.
And I would not invite you back over again.
Unless you apologized.
And meant it.
It is the same here.
If you have an opinion that is different than mine, that’s totally fine.
But if you are going to stop by and be rude or disrespectful or make accusations without first getting to know me, well, I’m going to kick your ass out.
If I entered a party where I didn’t really know anyone, and where I had never met the host before, and I didn’t like what I heard, I would turn right around and quietly leave.
But I wouldn’t approach the host, tell her how dumb/stupid/fat/illiterate/etc. she was, and then stay at the party.
And if I left the party, I wouldn’t first announce to everyone there as loudly as I could, “HEY YOU STUPID BITCH, THIS IS THE DUMBEST FUCKING PARTY I HAVE EVER BEEN TO AND YOU DON’T DESERVE TO HAVE PARTIES. OR CHILDREN!”
No. I would just quietly get the hell out of there if I really hated what the host was doing and saying that much.
And I would stay away.
So, like your parents taught you, if you come here to my blog and don’t like what is going on, if you don’t have anything nice to say, then keep your fucking mouth shut.
You came here.
I didn’t force my blog upon you.
That being said, this blog is not like a lot of other blogs.
It doesn’t follow all the rules.
I realize that my sentence structure doesn’t follow the proper conventions of writing. I realize that sometimes I use sentence fragments. I know I overuse commas sometimes. But I do that for effect. I am aware that I write one word sentences.
(Ha! Look! I just did it there).
I do that for a reason.
I write this blog largely for women (and men) like me.
Moms and dads who are exhausted, who have little time to read something before they are either interrupted or fall asleep.
You will most likely never find pieces of writing that could be submitted to the New Yorker or Time magazine here.
While I am perfectly capable of writing an essay, this blog is not a collection of essays.
It is more a collection of conversations.
I like writing in sentences like this. They are easier for me to follow.
And that’s the way I talk.
I also have a little bit of a potty mouth in real life.
And so, I also have one here.
If you don’t like my language or my sentence structure, well, again, no one is forcing you to be here.
You don’t have to listen to me talk. You are totally free to leave.
And you are more than welcome to go to a different party where everyone follows the rules.
Although how much fun can that be?
It’s okay though.
As long as you aren’t a total asshole on your way out, when you get bored and come to your senses, you can always come back here.