Now that it’s October we have entered swim meet season which means that 1-2 weekends per month will be spent at the pool.
Number 6 also started wrestling this year, and he will have wrestling meets — do they call them meets? or are they matches? — on the weekends starting in a month or so.
This means our weekends will often be busier than our weekdays.
And our weekdays are pretty busy.
I have really been trying to make time for myself on the weekends. Especially on Sundays.
But what I was reminded of this past weekend after spending two full days at the pool is that it’s going to be almost impossible to have any down time at all on about 50% of my weekends from now until the beginning of April.
And I’m not okay with that.
Back in the beginning of September I wrote a post entitled I Need A Day Of Rest.
I do.
We all do.
And I think one thing we moms often do is put everyone else first, run ourselves into the ground, and then get really pissed off about it.
We are pissed when nobody seems to appreciate what we do and we are pissed when nobody takes the initiative to do the shit we think should naturally occur to them.
Then we are exhausted and burnt out and we resent our children and our spouses (whether it’s conscious or unconscious) and we are short tempered and bitchy and ultimately losing our shit on them on a regular basis.
And then we feel guilty for losing our shit and we beat ourselves up and it’s a whole vicious cycle which repeats itself over and over again.
We put ourselves in these situations.
And it doesn’t have to be that way.
Sure, we might have to get creative to figure out a way to give ourselves some down time.
But what I realized yesterday morning was that I am no longer willing to create a schedule for myself that keeps me running 24/7.
It makes me really stressed and angry.
I don’t want to be really stressed and angry.
And my family doesn’t want me to be really stressed and angry either.
Because really stressed and angry Susie is not so much fun to be around.
So yesterday I was thinking back to a comment a reader left on that I Need A Day Of Rest post I wrote.
This is what she said:
I do ‘Me Mondays’. Can’t sleep in…that’s pushing it a bit, but once I drop off at school it’s home for a pot of French pressed coffee, surf the sites, lazy easy brekkie, then I belt out a few tunes in the shower, exfoliate..nose to toes. Once out it’s a deep conditioning treatment on my over worked locks, mud mask facial and a fresh coat of clear polish on my fingers, then let everything do it’s magic while I cry over some ridiculous shows on Netflix for a few glorious hours whilst eating popcorn. Cold rinsing shower before school pick up and I’m ready for the week ahead! Haven’t felt guilty about it yet, which is a bloody miracle! You go girl!
I love the idea of Me Mondays.
I think we so often look only at Sundays as the day to unwind and decompress.
But a day of rest doesn’t have to be on the weekend.
It can be any day.
I know not everyone can have a Me Monday during the day — especially if you work outside the home.
But as Marie Forleo says, everything is figureoutable.
For me, Me Mondays totally make sense.
I want to be able to spend time with my family on Sundays when our schedules aren’t busy.
But family time and me time are not the same thing.
And I am finally at the point in my motherhood journey where I understand the importance time just for me.
JUST FOR ME.
It’s okay to want time just for yourself. It’s okay to need time just for yourself. And it’s okay to make time just for yourself.
Not just when you feel a total meltdown coming on, but on a weekly basis.
So Mondays are the new Sundays for me.
I can’t sleep in on Mondays because the kids have school, and I can’t take the entire day to myself because I coach on Monday nights and the kids have swim practice. I have a weekly call with my VA on Mondays that I want to keep, and I have a Facebook live with my Not Your Average Fitness Course members. But the rest of the day?
That’s going to be dedicated to me time.
If I want to take a nap I’ll take a nap.
If I want to watch TV I’ll watch TV.
If I want to check stuff out on Pinterest for two hours, I’ll do that.
And who knows. Maybe I’ll shuffle things around so I don’t even have the call with my VA or the FB live on Mondays anymore. Maybe I’ll move those to Tuesdays. We’ll see.
That’s the beauty of Me Monday (or whatever day of the week you choose). You get to decide how you want to spend it. Because it’s about what you want, and it’s about what you need.
And what I need is a day to restore, a day to recover, and a day to reflect.
The day to connect with my family will be on Sunday when the schedule allows for it.
The day to connect with myself?
That’s gonna be on Mondays.
Tina Pennington says
Thursday night’s were mine for a few years. I would drop my son at scouts, the rest of the crew stayed home with Dad. Then I would hang out with my mom for a couple of hours. Have a cup of tea, chat or whatever. When he quit scouts last April I stopped going. A couple of weeks ago I realized how much I missed that little bit of me time. So I started going to visit my mom one night a week just because. It feels good. So good I may plan a girls weekend soon.