Keep, Stop, Start

Every Sunday is self-reflection day for me.

And I’ve also started implementing this practice with all my NYAFC clients.

But in order to really think about how the past week has been going for all of us, I have started employing the Keep, Start, Stop approach to this practice.

It’s also called the Stop, Keep, Start or the Stop, Start, Continue analysis.

It doesn’t really matter what words you use or what order you put them in.

You are still thinking about the same things. Just in a different order.

When using this model of self-reflection, you think about what habits/things/practices you want to keep doing, what you want to stop doing, and what you want to start doing.

This forces you to focus not just on your “failures” for the previous week — because so many of us go directly to the negative — but also your victories.

The things you really did well.

And it gives you something else to strive for.

So you think about the following three things:

1. What you want to start doing.
2. What you want to stop doing.
3. What you want to keep doing.

What is something you can do to level up in one area of your life, what is something that is going really well or working really well for you, and what is something that isn’t working well or holding you back from happiness/health/financial stability/whatever your goals are?

I wanted to share what I stopped doing in the last few weeks.

I haven’t even shared this with my course members yet today.

Something we moms often complain about or use as an excuse for not doing lots of things is not having time or being too “busy.”

But the truth of the matter is that we always have time.

We just choose to do other things.

If we don’t fold the laundry it’s not really because we don’t have time.

It’s because we choose other things over folding the laundry.

If we don’t exercise, it’s not because we can’t find five minutes in our day to do something.

It’s because we choose not to.

There is always time in a day.

In order to give myself more time, I stopped doing something about two weeks ago.

I didn’t make this proclamation with my course members (because we share our Stop, Start, Keeps).

Instead, I just made a commitment.

And it’s a little TMI, but whatever.

About ten days ago I stopped taking my cell phone into the bathroom with me.

Up until a week and a half ago, whenever I went into the bathroom, whether I needed to be in there for a short time or a longer time — if you know what I mean — I would take my phone.

And I’d end up being in the bathroom for at least ten minutes every time I went in there.

In fact, I’d tell the kids I had to use the bathroom, and they’d see me holding my phone, and they’d be like, “MOM! NO! DON’T TAKE YOUR PHONE IN THERE!!!”

Inevitably, I’d end up in the black hole of Facebook, and I’d be sitting on the toilet, doing absolutely nothing, and wasting so much time on my phone.

On another note, I have wanted to start reading more.

And I have not been able to do it.

Part of the problem is watching TV before bed is a habit I’ve developed that I’m not willing to break just yet.

The other problem is I have not been using my time efficiently.

So the only time I really read ends up being when I have the opportunity to go on vacation to the beach.

In order to break my phone-in-the-bathroom habit, I bring a book with me.

I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s Rising Strong.

And in the last ten days, I’ve read 79 pages of that book.

And I’ve only read it while I’ve been sitting on the toilet!

I know 79 pages isn’t anything crazy. But it’s more pages than I read in December. And November!

And I do listen to audiobooks when I run. But I really like to read a physical book.

Plus I like having it in my hands and being able to go back and reread or reference things.

So anyway, just by not taking the phone into the bathroom with me, I have freed up enough time to read about one book a month.

That’s a lot!

There is time in your day! You just have to make it.

So for this week, here are my Keep, Start, Stop:

• Keep NOT taking the phone into the bathroom with me.
• Start reading before bed.
• Stop watching TV after 10 p.m. (this was my stop last week and I didn’t make it happen)

How about you?

Reflecting on your week using the Keep, Start, Stop approach can really help you change the direction of not only your day, but your life!

What are you gonna keep doing, start doing and stop doing?

Start spending a few minutes of every Sunday thinking about this, and I bet you see your life change for the better.

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