I need a clone.
Actually, I think I need two.
I’m not sure the world could handle 3 of me though.
So I think I may have found the solution.
I need a sister wife.
Maybe even three.
I happened to watch that show for the first time the other day.
If you’ve never heard of it, here is a picture and a description of the show from its website:
Meet Kody Brown, his four wives — Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn –and their 17 children! Follow the Brown family and see how they attempt to navigate life as a normal family in a society that shuns their polygamist lifestyle.
I know a lot of people think this family (or is it these families?) is (are) a little bit wacko.
But let’s not forget…
I mean, who am I to judge, anyway?
Yesterday, I was home alone with 4 of the 7 kids.
A one-year-old, a two-year-old, a three-year-old, and a seven-year-old with a severely broken nose.
I spent the entire day accomplishing absolutely nothing.
100 % damage control.
Just keeping my head above water.
When I brought Number 4 out to the bus at 8 am, I was in my pajamas.
And at 3:45 pm when the bus dropped her off, I was still in my pajamas.
I went braless all day because I couldn’t find either of the two remaining bras I own that won’t impale me with a rogue underwire.
In fact, I realized at 4 pm that I had never even brushed my teeth.
It was a really glamorous day.
Now, if I had a sister wife around, I would have been able to get something done.
I could have just popped my head in her house…
Can you watch the kids for a half hour while I fold some laundry?
I mean, it’s the least you can do…
Seeing as you are screwing my husband.
And speaking of screwing your husband…
If you are going to tell me that you wouldn’t sometimes want a clone for that, well…
Then you are lying.
And if your clone can’t do it…
A sister wife is the next best thing.
I mean, it’s better than your cleaning lady.
I bet Maria Shriver would agree with that.
If you forgot something at the store, your sister wife could pick it up for you when she went.
And she wouldn’t mess up and get the wrong thing.
Because, you know.
She’s a wife.
That’s what I need.
A sister wife.
Now accepting applications.
Please inquire within 🙂
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