I don’t know about you, but I don’t give a crap about St. Patrick’s Day.
I don’t make green food, or green drinks, or green crafts.
If you want to do your corned beef and cabbage, and Guinness, and whatever else, go for it.
Leave my kids alone.
Since when did leprechauns invade elementary schools and start stealing shit?
Are leprechaun footprints throughout the building really necessary?
And glitter on desks?
What the fuck is up with leprechaun traps?
I put this one on the facebook page:
Number 3, 4, and 5 came up with that thing.
A complex “trap” consisting of a box, a blanket, and a $.25 cent necklace.
I thought it was hilarious.
Because it was so pathetic.
And then someone commented on how cute it was.
And how she liked it much better than all the other “fancy” ones she had seen on other mom blogs.
People actually spend their time making these things?
So I googled leprechaun traps.
There are pages,
and pages of that shit.
Thousands of them.
Thousands of these pointless, useless contraptions.
And don’t say anything about creativity, and higher-level thinking, and problem solving, and whatever other bullshit these things supposedly stimulate in your children.
I had no idea people actually made this shit.
Why the fuck would you spend time doing this when you know they’re not even going to catch anything?
I mean, at least when you lie about Santa there are presents at the end of the lie.
And you make shit up about the Easter Bunny.
But you get crap from him too.
But at least there’s money involved.
I found myself feeling the same way I had in August.
When I wrote about those annoying lunch boxes.
Anyway, my kids spent all weekend trying to catch a fucking leprechaun with their lame trap.
Now I’ve got enough trouble on my hands making up a fake story about Santa Claus,
and the Easter Bunny,
and the Tooth Fairy.
A story that won’t scar them for life.
I really don’t have the energy, or the desire, to come up with some fake yet creative explanation of who/what a leprechaun is and why he does the sneaky shit that he does.
I already have one kid with pretty significant anxiety and OCD issues.
I don’t need him freaking out about some creepy little green dude who’s gonna sneak into our house and steal his stuff.
Plus, I only have 12 days to think up and produce some really cute, creative, and inexpensive shit for Easter.
You know, so I can post pictures of it all and make you feel completely inadequate.
If you need me, I’ll be out in the woods, collecting sticks and bark and dead grass to weave my own Easter baskets.
After that I’ll be foraging for berries that aren’t poisonous so I can make my own all-natural Easter egg dye.
Or maybe I’ll be at the Dollar Store.
Buying some plastic eggs.
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I feel like we are the same person except that you have 5 more kids than me. We are a family of swimmers, I go to the Y, am doing the Biggest Loser, and I am not crafty at all. My kids came home Friday talking about that Leprechaun shit too. WTF? They kept saying the leprchauns will leave us stuff. Uh, noooo, not in this house. They too attempeed to build traps all weekend with sticks and stuff. Ours didn’t even look as nice as yours. Love your blog!
Irene C. says
My daughter left a note asking the leprechaun to come live with us and he can invite his entire family so he was not lonely. I taped to our front door so he could read it. She thought if she was nice to him, he would not play any tricks on us. She even left him some change on the front step, too….that ended up in my purse.
I agree, who has time to build a trap.
I have a mouse in my house that I have not been able to get rid of for months. Thank you for pointing me toward the solution. I’m headed to the craft store…
O-M-G! LOL…sounds like what I was thinking all last week, only since I am Irish I’m totally stuck with this stuff!
(found you searching for funny moms…I’ll be back for shore!)
St. Patricks Day is an excuse for 20 somethings (or whoever) to go out and get shit faced drunk….wear ugly green hats and silly green glasses while doing so. St. Patricks Day is not a childrens holiday. I don’t understand why people are trying to make it one. Pinterest can go away now…….
Shannon Peters says
Well kids have imaginations but I think that unless your doing some high tech stuff, they get bored real easy. So I am not so sure about the build a pot thing going down with my 5 yr old. DP and his friends, probably more his thing.
St Patrick’s day is a big thing in Boston and you know the Irish love their drink lol.