When I was little I always wanted crutches.
I would see injured people hobbling around on those things and watch them enviously.
My brother and I even went as far as jumping out of a tree in the backyard in an effort to break a leg so we could get some.
It never worked, thank God.
Then I moved onto the orthadonture phase.
I wanted braces so badly.
Or at least a retainer.
I would unfold a paper clip and bend it around my teeth.
I thought I was so cool.
Then at a dentist’s visit a few years later I finally heard what I had been waiting for.
You need braces.
I was ecstatic.
I got them for real.
They weren’t as fun as they seemed they would be, back when I had my paper clip braces.
Actually, they sucked.
I couldn’t wait to get that shit off my teeth.
Then I entered the glasses phase.
I really wanted glasses.
They made people look so smart.
And, like the crutches and the braces, cool.
I had some for reading about 10 years ago.
I didn’t really need them.
I think the prescription for the lenses was about 1/1,000,000 stronger than a window pane.
But I thought they made me look hot…
…er.
You know.
Like a Babe.
But with brains.
I didn’t take very good care of those glasses, so eventually they got so scratched up that I couldn’t wear them.
I never got new ones.
Until a few weeks ago.
I finally reached that stage.
You know, the stage where your arm isn’t long enough to hold crap far enough away so that you can actually read it.
And just like the braces,
needing to wear glasses is not nearly as much fun as wanting to wear them.
I used to have a thing about wheelchairs and those old people scooters.
And the last time we drove to North Carolina, I think I said I wished that I had worn some Depends so that we didn’t have to stop and pee so often.
For the record, I take all that shit back.
It’s taken 43 years, but I’ve finally learned my lesson.
I don’t need anything extra.
I’d like to keep the parts that are still working just the way they are.
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oh boy.. the classic case of grass is greener bla bla..
we ought to be thankful for what we have instead of wishing that it were cooler! I had thing for glasses too as a kid and I got my wish granted soon after as I got my my first prescription glasses ( -2.75 was my number can you believe it!). Today my power is so high that I just cannot do without them.. :(:(
I have learned to be a little more thankful now..
I always wanted crutches as a kid and my wish came true in college. I broke my leg and it was so bad that I had to keep all the weight off of it for six weeks. Two days before getting my cast off I got a back spasm (the doctor said my back finally gave out from all the time on crutches.)The pain was so intense that I was throwing up. I only heard about people throwing up from pain, but this hurt more than the broken leg. I learned my lesson and I am grateful that everyday I can walk, talk and take care of my family.
LOve this post! I can totally relate to all of it, accept I always had to have glasses since I was 6, but I was so excited at first! I really wanted to break my arm when I was a kid, I really wanted a cast, closest I got was a half cast slab wrapped with a tensor bandage, i was very disapointed.
I’m just glad my child hood desire of having braces never came true. I did, however, end up with freckles, a bangin’ body and after years of wishful thinking…boobs.
I always wanted a cast when I was a kid. Just so everyone could sign it.
I wanted braces so bad as a kid. I never got them ( even though my teeth are incredibly crooked). I also wanted glasses. But I never really wanted crutches because my mom’s friend had some that us kids played with all the time. 🙂 but I can relate to Andrea with the arm cast thing. Kids are so funny!
I had braces FOREVER as a child. I’m soooo anal about my kids teeth hygiene that I now have my child doing the Kids Toothbrush Club Kit! Easy on me so I can look like the responsible parent by getting a new toothbrush (it’s actually mailed to me every month) with a coloring book (cool Mom). Now, I just learned that my kit purchase also helped an underprivileged child, they give one for every kit sold. Pretty cool!!
Great post! When I was a kid, I wanted braces so bad. I never got them. I also wanted glasses and still never got them. Thank God, now I realized that I never really want them. 🙂