It’s been 53 weeks since I quit drinking.
Since it was my one year anniversary last week, I’ve been thinking a lot about this past year. About how I came to the decision to stop. About what has been difficult. About what wasn’t that difficult. About what I miss. And about what I don’t miss.
A year later, I am realizing there is only one thing I am really, truly missing.
It’s not a Blue Moon.
It’s not a box of Franzia always at the ready in my fridge.
It’s not a big, cheap bottle of Kirkland margaritas.
I am missing a group of women to hang out with regularly who all have a common interest.
I had that when I was drinking.
It isn’t especially hard to find a bunch of women who will go out or get together for drinks on a regular basis.
But I am finding it is especially hard to find a group of women to get together with regularly who have no interest in drinking. Who feel strongly about taking care of themselves. Who don’t regularly make jokes about wine in response to a long or hard or frustrating day. Who have decided or come to the realization that alcohol does nothing to improve the quality of their lives.
This isn’t judging anyone who chooses to unwind or de-stress or blow off steam with a drink or two. Do whatever you want.
I used to be the mom who wouldn’t dream of even considering a mom’s night out if alcohol wasn’t involved. I get it. I was there. I’ve taken plenty of pictures of a glass of wine or a drink with a glowing ice cube in it and selfies with a bottle of something in my hand.
Sometimes the bottle was bigger than others.
And what the hell is this picture? Why am I drinking a beer with a basket of fucking squash in my lap?
It’s just not for me anymore.
Not just the drinking. The joking about drinking.
And it’s not that I’m angry or resentful. I honestly don’t miss it now. Just like I don’t miss smoking anymore.
And it’s not that I want to stop spending time with my friends who drink. It’s not that.
I guess I’m just over it.
I want more. I want to surround myself with women who feel the same way I do. And not necessarily women who have issues with addiction or addictive personalities, but women who are fun bot who also just really want to take care of themselves.
I remember a couple years ago I saw an Instagram post from Glennon Doyle about her being sober and how life was so much better and she was happier and the fun had begun after she quit drinking, and I was like,
And now I get it.
But it can be really lonely over here on the no drinking side of life.
So I’m on the hunt for a crew of bad ass non drinking mom friends.
And I’m really looking forward to finding them.