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How To Make Your Mom Stop Crying With 5 Simple Words

August 29, 2014 by not your average mom 7 Comments

Number 5 had her first day of kindergarten today.

I started preparing her for the emotions she’d be confronted with last night.

Not her emotions. She was fine.

My emotions were another story.

“Are you excited for the bus ride tomorrow?” I asked her.

“YES!” she said, with a big smile.

“I’m just warning you that I’m going to cry when you get on the bus,” I told her. “Like probably a lot.”

“Why are you going to cry?” she asked.

I told her how everything was going so fast and how it seemed like she was just a little baby yesterday and how I was going to miss her so much and how sometimes when you are a mom you just want your kids to stay little forever.

“Mommy,” she said to me. “Don’t cry too much. Everyone on the bus will think I’m weird.”

I told her I’d try to be discreet about it.

This morning as we walked out the door to wait for the bus, she turned around and looked at me.

“Are you crying yet?” she asked.

“Not yet,” I told her. “But it’s coming soon,” I said with a wink.

While we waited in the driveway, we took some silly pictures.

firstday

And then I saw the lights of the bus coming over the horizon down the road.

The tears started coming.

I squeezed Number 5 tight.

The bus slowed down.

And then it sped up and flew right past us.

Wrong bus.

Shit.

I composed myself.

I straightened Number 5’s hair.

I kept my arm around her.

And a couple minutes later, as the correct bus came to a stop in front of our driveway, I covered my mouth, lost it, and managed to say “Turn around!” as she climbed up the steps to the bus.

I took a picture.

firstday1

She was a tiny bit hesitant and so pretty and cute and quiet and perfect and grown up.

I cried harder.

So much for being discreet.

Miss P, the bus driver, took one look at me and told her, “Mommy is going to be okay.”

And with that, Number 5 found her seat and the bus pulled away.

I stood in the driveway, bawling.

Number 4 ran out of the house and gave me a hug.

“MOM! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? SHE’S GOING TO COME BACK!!!”

When she realized I wasn’t stopping anytime soon, she ran back into the house, unphased.

I snorted and convulsed my way inside.

I stood in the kitchen crying.

I started to wonder how I was going to pull myself together.

And then Number 7 came tearing into the kitchen.

“Mommy?”

I was still crying.

“MOMMY?”

Still crying.

“MOOOOMMMY!

STOP CWYING!

I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION!”

“What?” I asked her in between sobs.

“DOES GWAMMY HAVE A VAGINAAAA???”

And just like that, the crying screeched to a halt.

Number 4 and I had a good laugh, and newly composed, I answered all of Number 7’s follow up questions regarding who had a vagina and who had a penis.

Like I’ve said before, sometimes you know just what your kids need.

But sometimes, it’s the other way around.

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Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: first day of kindergarten, first day of school, The days go slow but the years go fast

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Comments

  1. Toni Langdon says

    August 29, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    Love this post!!! Thanks for sharing! I can totally relate! I went to my therapist one time and said “I think I’m bipolar!” and she said, “nope, you’re just a parent!” One minute I’m happy as can be and the next minute I’m sobbing like a baby or else I feel like I’m ruining my child! lol!

    Reply
  2. Hil says

    August 29, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    Hahaha! And that is how it is-relentless! You don’t even get a chance to cry because you have to laugh and five seconds later, it will be something else! So, how was her first day???

    Reply
  3. Anne/MuseMama says

    August 30, 2014 at 2:14 am

    My son once pointed out that I didn’t have a penis.

    “No sweetie, I don’t” I said.

    “Not yeeeet” he answered back.

    I laughed so hard I thought I might not stop.

    “Your daddy will be so surprised!”

    Reply
  4. Jessica @ Absurd, She Wrote says

    August 30, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    Aw, I don’t blame you for getting emotional. But I love your daughter’s spirit!

    Reply
  5. Toni says

    August 31, 2014 at 10:33 pm

    That’s awesome thanks my youngest leaves the nest Tuesday I’ll be a hot mess 🙁

    Reply
  6. Dimond says

    October 19, 2020 at 2:54 pm

    LOL super funny love this post.

    Reply
  7. Dimond says

    October 19, 2020 at 2:56 pm

    lol hahaha

    Reply

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