Last night I went to a dinner party at a friend’s house.
It was me and my husband and five other couples.
I knew two of the couples, and the other three I had never met.
There were two tables set to eat. One was in the kitchen and one was in the dining room.
And when it was time to eat, we were instructed where to sit.
Ladies in the dining room, guys in the kitchen.
So the girls spent some time getting to know each other and telling stories.
And then, as it usually does, the fact that we have seven kids came up.
One of the ladies I had just met was a runner, and my running buddy was there, and the fact that I ran 2 marathons in the last month came up.
Followed by the fact that I’m hosting a women’s retreat.
And then, inevitably, so did the blog.
The runner lady said, “Oh. Phht. You’re an overachiever.”
I don’t think she meant it as an insult at all, but internally, I still felt a little defensive.
I kept thinking about her comment.
Overachiever.
Being called an overachiever to me has a negative connotation.
To me it implies perfectionism.
Feeling the need to be better than everybody else.
If you’ve been to my house, you know it’s far from perfect.
And I have broadcast my faults and many, many imperfections to the whole world.
So no.
I don’t think I’m an overachiever.
But I do like to challenge myself.
Because I have been at some very low points.
Looooooooowwwww points.
And what I want to keep doing is proving to myself that I can do anything.
That however bad things seem, however low the low, I can get through it.
I want to push through discomfort, whether its physical or emotional or financial, and come out on the other side a better person.
A stronger person.
So if someone tells me that something is impossible,
that it just can’t be done,
well, that to me is a challenge.
And not so much for me to prove them wrong, but to show myself what I’m made of.
I just ran an Indiegogo campaign.
I was advised to wait before I launched it.
That I needed more time to plan.
I had people tell me I was going to fail.
And about ten days ago, I thought they might be right.
But they weren’t.
Because I did it.
And I didn’t just reach my fundraising goal.
I surpassed it.
By almost $1500.
I can do anything. I can handle anything.
And so can you.
The next time someone stomps all over whatever that thing is that you’re excited about, ignore them.
Rather than listen to them and ultimately replying with, “Huh, I guess you’re right…”
Listen to me.
Reply with, “FUCK. THAT.”
Those two words have helped me do lots of “impossible” things.
And when you hear that voice in your ear (or in your own head) raining on your parade, they just might help you, too.
Thank you for making me Number 1!
I NEED YOUR VOTES TO STAY THERE!
Please click on the banner below!
I think that the term “overachiever” at some point down the line got a bad rap. Wikipedia states that overachievers “perform better or achieve more success than expected.” It also says “overachievers have the drive, determination, passion, and energy needed to move huge projects forward.”
Those two things fit you perfectly. So, although she may not have meant it in the most flattering way…..I would wear that “overachiever” badge with pride.
I really don’t think she meant it as an insult. She was super nice. I hope I haven’t given the impression that I thought she was being judgemental. It’s more about my reaction to the word, I guess. I’m not sure why I think it’s negative. My issue, not hers.
Lots to learn from you. Tenacity!
That is right. FUCK THAT. You rock, own it.
And, remember, coming from someone who sometimes says the stupidest shit just to fill in silence with strangers – sometimes people are doing just that so give them a second chance sooner or later. I wouldn’t have any friends otherwise 🙂
I agree with you that “overachiever” has something of a negative connotation. I think it’s because many times people who are actually jealous of what others have accomplished use the word to make themselves feel better. They use it to imply that the only reason you have accomplished so much is that you think you’re some sort of awesome gift to the universe who is better than everyone else because LOOK what you can do. (Not saying this particular lady meant it that way, just saying, I think people do use it that way and that’s where the negative connotation comes from). When people use “overachiever” that way, I totally agree- Fuck that! If someone else is intimidated by what you’re doing, that’s their problem. Keep living life to the fullest!
I say that all the time and not in a negative way AT ALL! Sometimes my friends are kicking ass, moms who work and have kids and manage to make way better meals and keep a cleaner house than I do. It’s more of a self depricating joke to pay them a compliment to how awesome and hardworking they are. My friends know I wouldn’t say something to them that is mean in a negative way but maybe your friend did, who knows. My best guess is that she was paying you a compliment because you are an overachiever! You work, write this blog, keep your house sanitary, manage 7 kiddos, and kick ass so keep on!
If someone tells me I can’t do something I always feel compelled to prove them wrong. My husband refers to it as my “stubbornness”, as in I stubbornly refuse to be defeated until I come through. I probably would have felt insulted. In my brain I probably would have thought “maybe you’re just an underachiever” but I doubt it would have came out of my mouth