So here’s my theory.
Moms are driven to the brink of insanity for four main reasons.
Raising children is like the movie Groundhog Day. Whether you work outside the home, inside the home, or you don’t have a job and stay at home. It doesn’t matter.
Wake the kids up, breakfast, rush to school, get your shit done, stress about what’s for dinner, dread the homework hour (or five), drive to practice, drive to lessons, drive to the grocery store, make dinner, throw most of it in the garbage, fight with your kids over what they are going to wear or whether they can watch TV or if they need a bath or if it’s really time for bed, go through the same bedtime routine which you will one day appreciate and miss but right now would love to totally fast forward through, listen to the fourteen reasons why your child had to get out of bed, probably drink alcohol, and then go to sleep.
Every. Single. Day.
Even on the weekends.
2) Lack of exercise.
Between the kids and the monotony and the driving and the knowing that the staff in the babysitting room is going to come and find you 7 minutes after you get on the treadmill and the fact that a slight breeze makes you pee your pants, you just can’t find a way to get on the workout wagon.
3) Losing yourself.
Once you commit to having kids, they become a priority.
But it’s a slippery slope to allowing them to become the only priority, and then you are treading on dangerous ground.
You become resentful. Angry. And then that Groundhog Day monotony really starts to get to you.
4. Remaining in your comfort zone.
This is closely tied into losing yourself.
You put all your focus on the kids.
You become so entrenched in the routine that you do the same thing day in and day out, and then, eventually, you don’t even question it.
You don’t think about trying anything different.
Eventually you can’t even imagine trying anything different.
You have transitioned from the person you were before children to mom.
It’s your only identity.
And that’s dangerous.
Because then you are stuck. And when you are stuck, no growth occurs.
And when no growth occurs, parts of you start dying.
And at 30 or 40 or 50 or, well, ever, that is not okay.
That’s not why you were put on this planet.
You were not put on this planet to have a life of your own only until you give birth to children, and then to stagnate, become an observer, and slowly wither away.
When we realize we have gotten to that point, that’s when the insanity appears.
I was on that monotonous hamster wheel.
And yes, there are aspects of motherhood that are going to be monotonous no matter what.
But when you make time for yourself, when you realize there are so many other women who feel the same way that you do, that it’s not just you, when you start moving again and start living life with a little more of that enthusiasm you had before you had kids, well, that obligatory monotony doesn’t make you want to get in your car and just start driving.
And that’s how Not Your Average Weekend came to be.
Not Your Average Weekend is an all-inclusive, women-only retreat at the Interlaken Inn in Lakeville, CT from March 18 – 20, 2016.
Two nights and two days of helping you rediscover that part of you that isn’t a mom.
That part of you that used to be adventurous. That part of you that wasn’t the observer, but the active participant. The part of you who had no problem doing things for herself.
So here is what you can expect:
Eat a nice dinner. Meet women who can totally relate to what you are thinking and feeling. Even if you think they won’t. Because they will.
Play some games. Maybe catch a buzz.
Sleep in a quiet, civilized hotel room.
Wake up and have a healthy breakfast.
Then, get back to moving. But try something a little out of your comfort zone.
You will have the opportunity to try: yoga and salsa dancing.
What? There’s no way in hell you’re doing yoga? You’re not flexible enough?
THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT.
Try something you think you can’t do.
Try something that makes you vulnerable and uncomfortable.
Yes. There is absolutely the potential for you to make a complete ass out of yourself.
You could fall on your face.
You could fart in a yoga pose.
So could everyone else in the room.
But you know what else? There is even more potential for you to discover how strong you are.
Or to find something you never even knew you liked to do!
How great would that be?
And if that is just too terrifying for you, you don’t have to participate in those classes.
They are not required. But they sure are recommended.
Because moving physically as well as moving out of your comfort zone are imperative to surviving the motherhood monotony.
After realizing how exercise not only makes you feel better physically, but also emotionally, you’ll have a nice lunch.
After lunch there will be a “Mom’s on the Go” cooking demonstration and hair and makeup tips and how tos.
During that time you can also book a massage. (They aren’t complimentary but $30 for a half hour — which is totally affordable and a bargain, and only a limited number of those available).
Or you could just chill in your room without being bothered by anyone at all.
After that, it’s time for happy hour (remember, all inclusive), dinner (again, all inclusive), karaoke, dj, dancing, and FUN!!!
Get another night’s rest in a quiet bed that you didn’t have to make yourself.
Enjoy a delicious brunch the next day with dozens of new friends.
End the weekend knowing you are not alone, learning something new about yourself, feeling refreshed, renewed, and excited to have a little bit of your pre-child self back.
If you worked in an office building, a professional development opportunity like this would be mandatory.
When your job is to raise healthy, productive children who may become parents one day, too, well, this weekend should also be mandatory.
Give yourself and your family this gift.
You need it.
And so do they.
You won’t regret it if you do.
But you will regret it if you don’t.