Being married isn’t easy.
it’s really fucking hard.
For me, anyway.
Sometimes I’m a good wife.
Other times, not so much.
I’ve done lots of shitty things to my husband.
I wrote about the worst one yesterday.
But there are lots of other little (and not-so-little) things.
I’ve called my husband an asshole, a dick, a motherfucker, and a loser.
I’ve told him to fuck off.
I’ve told him that I was leaving,
and that the marriage was over.
I’ve given him the silent treatment.
I’ve used the word divorce.
On several occasions.
I’ve focused on his faults,
instead of on mine.
Marriage can be good for that.
That person who is right there next to you is the one you sometimes shit on the most.
You treat strangers and acquaintances better than that person who fathered your children.
At least I do.
my husband is pretty amazing.
I forget that.
I forget that he’s a hands-on dad.
That he will get up in the middle of the night with any of the kids. Willingly.
I forget that unlike most men,
he’s not a total pussy when he gets sick.
I forget that he notices the tiniest little things, like the way I point my fingers, and how one of the girls does it the same way.
I forget that this strong, tough man
at the birth of each of our children.
I forget that his heart is much, much bigger than his biceps, the body part I noticed most on that first night I met him.
I’ve taken countless opportunities to hit him when he was down,
to go straight for the jugular.
I’ve hurt him many times.
Because I could.
And he’s still here.
Hasn’t gone anywhere.
Never mentioned divorce.
Never threatened to leave.
It’s my ninth anniversary today.
People ask you what you are going to do for your anniversary.
You have these romantic visions of how you will celebrate.
You know what awesome thing I did for my husband today?
I started off our tenth married year this morning by going off on my husband.
Yelling at him.
I threw in a couple swears for good measure.
Not really a great way to celebrate nine years of marriage.
I call a do over.
You know, I tell everyone how hot you are all the time.
And you are.
Way hotter (and sexier) than the day we met.
the most attractive thing about you is your patience,
and your complete and total devotion.
No matter how big of a douche I am, you still tell me that you love me.
Thank you for sticking by me through everything.
I know I have put you through a lot.
There is really no one like you.
I’m sorry for forgetting that. On a regular basis.
I love you very much.
And Happy Anniversary.
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