In fifteen hours I’m leaving to take Number 4 to school.
She starts her freshman year at the boarding school she worked her ass off to get into.
When she discovered the school two and a half years ago, she decided she was going there for high school.
We told her she could go, but she’d need a full scholarship.
So she got a full, four year scholarship.
This day seemed so far away that it didn’t even feel real back when we found out she got in.
Now the day is tomorrow.
She’s really nervous.
But she’s ready.
What didn’t feel real before feels REALLY FUCKING REAL TONIGHT.
This wasn’t part of the package I signed up for back when she was born.
I was supposed to have at least four more years before this night arrived.
It wasn’t supposed to happen before high school started.
It was supposed to happen after it ended.
Number 4 says she can’t wait to get some space from Number 3.
Number 3 says he can’t wait for Number 4 to leave.
But they both watched one of the Harry Potter movies together tonight, and I suspect now that the day is upon us, reality is setting in for the two of them.
They are going to miss each other. Even if they would never in a million years admit that out loud.
Number 6 is giving me a run for my money in the tears department.
He had a good, long cry tonight.
Then he made a card for his sister.
I’m going to sneak it into one of her bags when I pack up the car tomorrow so she has a surprise when she’s unpacking at school.
As for me, well, let’s just say I can’t really talk about it right now.
You think you get through a difficult stage of childhood and the hardest part is behind you.
And then that fucking stage of letting go comes up out of nowhere and hits you like a ton of bricks.
If there’s a harder stage than this, well, then I’m gonna have to politely decline that one.
Because this one is a heartbreaker.
And I know this is an incredible opportunity for her and it’s not like she’s dying and it’s not like I’m not excited for her.
But all that doesn’t matter right now.
Because I am just really, really, really,
going to miss my girl.