Dear Fellow Moms,
I owe you an apology.
I’ve come to this realization only in the past few days, since I’ve decided to stop complaining.
I have been writing this blog for almost three years now.
And I have been known to go off on a rant every now and then.
Sometimes I think it’s justified.
But then there were the other posts I wrote.
Like the ones attacking the Bento Box lunch-making moms.
And the Elf-on-the-Shelf enthusiasts.
And the leprechaun trap makers.
I’ve been thinking about those posts.
When it comes down to it, I was just complaining.
While Irene and the Smoking Dude and Nita the Diaper Judger were attacking me or doing something that was harmful to my kids, the Bento/Elf/Leprechaun lovers weren’t.
They weren’t doing anything to me at all.
The elves and parties and leprechauns and lunches don’t effect me.
So why did I feel the need to attack?
Well, I think it comes down to insecurity.
Insecurity and guilt and the feeling that we moms need to do it all.
I wish it weren’t, but I think it’s often a natural instinct to godirectly into competition mode when other moms are doing things that we aren’t doing.
We start telling ourselves stories.
I should be doing that too.
My kids are missing out.
And rather than just appreciate all the different things that we moms do for our kids, rather than celebrate all of our strengths, we feel threatened.
Why do we do that?
We have a lot of kids in this house. They all have different strengths and abilities.
Number 3 is really good at baseball.
Number 4 is a great singer.
Number 5 is ridiculously flexible.
Number 6 can figure out how to work all aspects of any technological device in under 60 seconds.
And we make them each feel proud of these talents.
But we don’t encourage them all to one up each other.
Conversely, we also don’t encourage Number 6 to discredit Number 4’s wonderful singing voice just because he doesn’t happen to possess that same gift.
Number 3 and 4 love the swim team.
Number 1 and 2 have zero desire to be a part of it.
We don’t tell them they should also love swimming.
We don’t encourage them to gang up on Number 3 and 4 and tell them that swimming is stupid and a waste of time.
And upon a little self reflection, I realize that’s exactly what I’ve been doing to the moms who enjoy doing that stuff.
Just because it’s not worth my time, doesn’t mean it’s not worth your time.
Just because I don’t think it’s fun, it doesn’t mean nobody should think it’s fun.
To each her own.
I just want people to do something because they enjoy it, or because it improves the quality of their lives, and not for the sake of feeling the need to keep up with other people.
So I’m not going to stop having opinions.
And I’m not going to stop speaking my mind.
But I am going to try to model those same things I am trying to teach my kids.
And I am going to apologize.
I don’t know what the hell it is that I’m going through.
I guess I’m growing up.
And like a responsible grown up, I want acknowledge what I’ve been doing and let you know that I feel a little bit like a tool.
And I’m sorry.
And while I’m still never gonna get an Elf on the Shelf, I’m no longer going to make fun of or complain about somebody else who does.
(But I might hide you from my Facebook feed for the month of December).
Thank you for making me Number 1!
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