2022 was one of the most challenging years of my life.
It’s definitely in my Top 3 Hardest Years Ever.
There were times over the course of this year that I wanted to say screw it and just give up.
There were times I seriously questioned if I could keep going.
By October I was completely discouraged.
I was floundering and exhausted and extremely emotional and I was so entrenched in this hell I had created for myself that I couldn’t see what I was doing.
But something we easily forget in the moment is that massive challenges bring massive growth along with them.
As long as you hang in there.
You know what Winston Churchill said.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
I kept going.
In the middle of October I finally had a small moment of clarity.
I was able to see how I was making problems for myself.
The more clarity I had, the more clarity I had!
It was like a clarity snowball rolling down a big hill, getting bigger and bigger and revealing more and more to me as it gathered speed.
Divorce guilt was guiding most of my actions and decisions.
I was expending almost all of my energy trying to keep things the same for the kids even though life was very, very different now.
I was trying to control all the variables and focusing most of my attention on other people and things I couldn’t possibly control.
I had no boundaries.
I wasn’t protecting my time.
I had created routines and expectations that I couldn’t sustain.
I had lost so much focus and veered so far off course, and I didn’t realize it until I couldn’t even see where I had started.
I spent November and December finding my way back.
I’ve learned so much in the last year.
I’m so glad I didn’t quit on myself.
2022 was really hard.
But it’s paved the way for a 2023 that I know is going to be really fucking awesome.
Anthony (tony) Saracino says
well Its too late to jump off the raft in the middle of shark infested waters now!